


it's still you

by trixicbean



Series: always [2]
Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: Domestic Fluff, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Found Family, no meddison angst don't panic, they get through the angst together
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-03
Updated: 2021-01-18
Packaged: 2021-03-13 08:42:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 29,864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28525665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trixicbean/pseuds/trixicbean
Summary: Their relationship progresses but there are obstacles along the way.sequel to it's you
Relationships: Meredith Grey/Addison Montgomery
Series: always [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2085906
Comments: 64
Kudos: 109





	1. i love you

**Author's Note:**

> i really liked this storyline on private practice and i wanted to incorporate it here but this chapter is mainly meddison-centric focusing on their life before the obstacles and changes.

After a week, Meredith's wrist had healed. After a fortnight, Derek returned to work. After three weeks, Meredith signed off of her clinical trial and gave the work to Cristina. It wasn’t that anyone forced her to give up on it. On the contrary, people tried desperately to persuade her not to but in the end, Meredith won out, quitting the trial. After four weeks, the gossip about Addison and Meredith finally died down (though it probably only lasted as long as it did because of a supply closet meeting they probably shouldn’t have had (no matter how enjoyable it was)). After five weeks, Addison fucked up which led to her hiding in the bathroom. 

She shouldn’t have said it. The whole plan was not to say it. She had decisively been not saying it for months. Ever since they’d gotten together, she had not been saying it. Then she had said it and Meredith had looked at her like that. So she had run and locked herself in the bathroom, leaning against the door. 

“Addie?” came the soft voice on the other side of the door with a small knock. 

“Go away, Mer,” she groaned, leaning against the door and letting her head fall against it. 

Meredith laughed from the other side of the door, “Addie? Can you open the door, please?”. 

“I’m fine,” Addison shrugged, “I think I’ll keep it closed,”. 

  
“Addison,” Meredith laughed, “Just open it please, I need to talk to you,”. 

“Talking is so overrated,” Addison mumbled to herself, crossing her legs, “No,” she called out to Meredith, “I’ll stay here,”. 

“I can’t believe you’re making me be the sane one,” she heard Meredith mumble, “Addison, please,” she could hear her laugh and soon she added something else, “You know everyone else is going to be back in a minute,”. 

Fuck. Nope. She was not going to have this freakout in front of the residents she was the boss of. That was too humiliating. More humiliating than it already was. “I’m opening the door,” Addison sighed, moving and sliding the lock on the door to one side and opening it just a crack so she could see Meredith looking through the door. 

“I’m meant to be the one who runs away at the first sign of commitment,” Meredith laughed as she saw Addison peek her head around the door. 

“I will lock the door again,” Addison deadpanned. 

“No, don’t,” Meredith smiled. 

“I shouldn’t have said it,” Addison leaned her head against the door, turning red, “I’m pushing you away,”. 

“You locked yourself in the bathroom and I followed you. I don’t think you’ve scared me off yet,” Meredith laughed, her foot tactically wedging itself in the door. 

“You gave me that look,” Addison sighed. 

“No one had ever said that to me before. I had no idea how to react,” Meredith tried to justify herself, her voice going up an octave, “I don’t think my own mother even told me that. I needed processing time,”. 

“Processing time?” Addison checked. 

  
“Yes, processing time,” Meredith clarified, “I was surprised. I kind of didn’t believe you,”. 

Addison softened, taking a deep breath. Meredith’s vulnerability shining through almost relaxed her. She opened the door a bit further with a smile. “Why wouldn’t you believe me?” she asked. Meredith just avoided looking at her and shrugged.

Meredith took another deep breath, “You’re you and I’m me and how can you feel that way about me because I’m me and I feel that way about you and I can’t imagine you feeling that way about me because I love you and I can’t imagine you loving me so I was surprised and I didn’t say anything and,” she was cut off with two lips pressing against hers. Meredith's hands moved up to cup Addison’s face instinctively as Addison pulled her closer by the waist. 

“You love me?” Addison asked as she pulled away. 

  
“Of course I do, you idiot,” Meredith laughed, meeting Addison’s lips in another kiss and spinning them around so they could stumble backwards and Meredith could push Addison down onto the bed, laughing so hard as she tripped to fall on top of her that their lips left each other. 

“Smooth,” Addison laughed, pulling Meredith back down into another kiss.

Their relationship shifted that evening, for the better. ‘I love you’ was said a lot more, quite a lot more. Addison found herself finally able to say it in all those other situations when she wanted to but never had. When she was saying goodbye, she could add it at the end. When she finally saw Meredith after a long day she could let those three words slip from between her lips. When Meredith smiled at her because she really loved that smile. Whenever she wanted. She loved it. 

It took a little while for Meredith to get used to. The ‘I love you’ that Addison could say so easily stopped Meredith’s heart and made her do a double-take and she had to fight the urge to ask her girlfriend if she was serious. But after about a fortnight of the reminders of Addison’s love, Meredith found herself no longer wanting to check that Addison was telling the truth. She didn’t notice that she didn’t have that feeling at first then one time after Addison had whispered an ‘I love you’ before she disappeared into surgery. Meredith realised she didn’t have that thought anymore, she didn’t do a double-take, some part of her just accepted it. She said it back more easily after that. 

After that, they also spent months getting to know each other better with little questions, simple ones which left them getting closer and closer to each other as they combined themselves with small gestures.

“What’s your middle name?” Meredith had asked one time as they were both working on the couch, their legs tangled together as Addison read through a medical journal and Meredith worked on revising her knowledge for a big surgery tomorrow with a textbook and a notepad. 

“Adrianne,” Addison had smiled, looking up at Meredith over the top of her glasses, “But I also have Bizzy’s maiden name, Forbes,”. 

“Addison Adrianne Forbes Montgomery,” Meredith tested the name with a smile, “It suits you,”. 

“What’s your middle name?” Addison asked. 

“I don’t have one,” Meredith shrugged. 

“I’m surprised,” Addison smiled as Meredith closed her textbook and looked at Addison seriously. “No. No. No,” Addison slipped her foot between the textbook pages and opened it again, “Keep going,”. 

“It’s not the right page,” Meredith shrugged, closing it again. 

“Put it on the right one,” Addison smiled, opening it again, “Revise for the surgery,”. 

“It’s boring,” Meredith sighed. It really was. She was revising to scrub in on a heart-liver transplant with Hahn, Bailey and Izzie while she tried to ignore Cristina’s anger at her scrubbing instead of her, though it was mainly anger at Hahn. 

“Do you want me to test you?” Addison asked, leaning forward and flipping through the textbook pages to find the one. 

“Yes, please,” Meredith sighed with a small smile. 

That surgery ended up planting the seed of General in Meredith’s brain. Not that she told anyone that point. Ever since she had been forced out of Neuro she had been looking for a different speciality and General was taking the lead. Though, she didn’t just want to be the daughter of Ellis Grey, the General goddess. She liked it. It just had a disadvantage. 

-

When it came to gestures, Addison soon figured out Meredith was good at them, mostly unintentionally, just out of a natural kindness even Meredith didn’t know she possessed. It was the little things. Like the time she came out of an impossible surgery where she lost twins born two and a half months premature with little to no liver function. It was an impossible case to save them, everyone in the room knew it, it didn’t mean Addison wasn’t going to try. 

It did mean she wasn’t close to tears as she came out of surgery, pulling her scrub cap off and undoing her hair from the tight ponytail that was giving her a headache and leaning against the nearest wall. 

“Hey,” Meredith’s familiar voice broke through her thoughts. She looked up to see her walking down the hallway holding a takeaway cup in her hand. 

“Hi,” Addison smiled weakly. 

“For you,” Meredith held out the cup, leaning against the wall next to Addison. 

“Thank you,” Addison smiled, taking a cautious sip and as soon as the liquid hit her tongue she had to stifle her smile so she didn’t choke. Hot chocolate. 

“In your words,” Meredith laughed, “I thought you could use some good juju,”. 

“I really could, thank you,” Addison smiled, leaning against Meredith with a playful push. A little touch when she couldn’t lean in and steal a kiss, “I have to go tell the family,” she sighed. 

“I know,” Meredith smiled, “I know,” she took her hand and gave it a light squeeze, “I’ll be waiting when you finish,”. 

“Thank you,” Addison smoked, turning to face Meredith, “I love you,”. 

  
“I love you too,” Meredith smiled, pushing away from the wall and dragging Addison with her and walking with her to the door before she split from her with a final soft smile, passing Meredith the hot chocolate so she didn’t look too casual as she had that discussion she hated having so much. 

It was later on that week that Meredith announced something. Addison had been reading a book on the couch when Meredith had come home. She hadn’t even bothered taking her shoes or coat off as she ran into the lounge. 

  
“General,” she stood in front of Addison with a huge smile, “I’m going to go into General and I know I have big shoes to fill and I know I will always be in the shadow of Ellis Grey but I’ve been reading her journals and she had so many more ideas and I can carry them out,”. Addison put her book down and slipped her glasses off her face with a smile as she started to watch Meredith pace up and down the room. 

“I like General. I can do General. I can’t do Cardio or Neuro and I don’t have the mental capacity for Peds or Neonatal but I can do General. I want to do General. Not just because of my mother. Because of me. I want to do General,” Meredith stopped and turned to face Addison as she finished her final sentence. 

“I’m sure you will be a brilliant General surgeon, Meredith Grey,” she smiled, leaning forward and grabbing Meredith’s hand so she could pull her closer. 

“You think so?” Meredith asked as she straddled Addison’s lap, her hands wrapping around the back of Addison’s neck and threading up into her hair. 

“You would be brilliant wherever you decided to go,” Addison smiled, pulling Meredith even closer by her hips and meeting her lips in a kiss. 

It was eight months of that perfect loved-up bliss, their easy relationship. It was so easy and fun. Then, after they had been together for almost eleven months, almost a year. They’d had a Thanksgiving and a Christmas together, a rushed one they barely noticed, but they had it together, and it was fun and simple. Izzie and Alex also moved out just after Christmas, into their own apartment they had bought together, after that it was just them and it was perfect. They had almost eleven perfect months and then he showed up at the hospital. 

Meredith’s hand was in hers as they got off the elevator at the surgical floor. It was their normal morning routine. Meredith had to go one way to the residents’ lounge and Addison the other to the attendings’ lounge so Addison would place a kiss to Meredith’s cheek and they would say their ‘I love you’ and walk-in separate directions. That day was slightly different because she didn’t manage to make it on her direct path to the attendings’ lounge. 

  
Someone stopped her. The last person she wanted to see. “Hello,” he smiled so casually as Addison walked up to him, his hands in his pockets. He looked so annoyingly smug. 

“Hello,” Addison breathed in complete shock. What on earth was he doing here?

“Hello,” Mark butted his face in. 

  
“Go away, Mark,” Addison hissed, staring down her friend. Surprisingly in the past few months, they’d managed to build up their friendship again. Mark was becoming an increasingly better person, although he would be an even better one when he finally admitted he was sleeping with Lexie. Something she had explicitly told him not to do. 

“I thought we were saying ‘hello’,” he shrugged with a goofy smile. 

“Go away,” she muttered through gritted teeth and he left with his hands in the air. Presumably off to annoy someone else. 

She tried to follow him, trying to sidestep her father but she was faster stopping her from going anywhere. She just made sure she didn’t look him in the eye. “Kitten,” he said softly. Still so fucking casual, like he visited his daughter at work every day. 

“My name is Addison,” she bit out, moving to the side again and continuing on her path. 

“I thought we could have a drink,” he called after her. 

“It’s 8 am. I have surgery,” Addison sighed, she could really use a drink now. 

“I thought we could talk,” he persisted and carried on walking after her. 

She needed to put an end to this. Addison spun around to face him, “Are you dying?” she asked. That had to be the only reason he was here, that or his latest mistress was in LA. 

  
“What?” he was still so casual, his hands in his back pockets now. 

“Do you have cancer? Renal failure? A brain tumour? Are you dying?” Addison asked again. 

“I came to see,” he smiled, he was almost proud of himself. 

“Well, here I am, you saw me,” Addison sighed and she started to walk back toward the elevator. 

“So now you’re leaving?” he asked, following her. 

“No, I have work to do. You are,” Addison smiled as the elevator doors slid open. 

He considered his options for a second, looking around before he went to get on the elevator, “I’m at the Archfield,” he told her before he left. 

“Who was that?” Mark came back to her side as she went back on her walk to the attendings’ lounge. 

“Nobody,” Addison sighed, she didn’t want to talk about this. 

“It looked like someone you were sleeping with. I’ve had that cold shoulder before,” Mark smiled as he walked faster than his normal pace to keep up with Addison. 

“One, I’m in a committed relationship. Two, that’s The Captain,” Addison sighed, it was pointless not telling him, he was like a dog with a bone when he wanted to know something. 

“I always liked your father,” Mark smiled. 

“You liked the alcohol he would send,” Addison sighed, “You’ve never met him. Even Derek only met him about five times,”. 

“I was at your wedding,” Mark pointed out proudly. 

  
“So you might have met him once when you weren’t busy screwing the nearest drunk single woman,” Addison smiled smugly as she pushed open the door to the attendings’ lounge. 

It turned out spending the morning with a father desperate to save his son somehow made Addison sympathetic toward The Captain and for some reason, in a moment of emotion-induced weakness, she called him and agreed to meet him for lunch at the Archfield.

She got there first, of course, he was late and she couldn’t have any alcohol because she was on-call and could have surgery in the afternoon so she just ordered him his drink, vodka tonic lime with no lemon, and ordered herself a water that didn’t get rid of any of her anger or anxiety. She saw the woman lead him over to the table and sighed. He was still so casual. 

“You’re late,” she cautioned after he sat down, leaning back in his chair like it was a normal day. There was nothing normal about it. She didn’t just meet up with her father.

“You look good,” he smiled, “The Seattle air has done you well,”. 

She was saved from a response by the waiter coming over with their drinks. “Water for the lady,” he smiled, placing the drink down in front of her. Addison smiled politely back. “And vodka tonic, lime, no lemon for the gentleman,” he continued, placing the drink down in front of The Captain. 

“Thank you,” Addison smiled as he walked off. 

The Captain leaned forward, stirring his drink before he held it up, “You remembered,” he smiled. 

Addison wanted to strangle him, how was he this casual. “Of course I remembered, I’ve been fixing your drinks since I was eight-years-old, it’s not something you forget,” she smiled politely instead and took a sip of her water. 

“You know a lady should always drink alcohol in the company of a gentleman whose drinking,” he smiled, leaning forward. 

“Well, you’re not a gentleman, you’re my father and I have surgery so,” Addison might as well get this over with, “What’s her name?”. 

“Who?” he asked, leaning back in his chair again. 

“Your mistress,” Addison smiled politely still, it was almost a force of habit, “I’m assuming you have a mistress in Seattle otherwise, why would you be here?”. 

“Addie,” he tried to stop her talking. This was her turn now. She had never gotten a turn before, it was her turn now. 

“I mean you didn’t show up when I told you I was getting a divorce, most kids’ dads show up then so I’m thinking there must be a fine piece of ass on the West Coast to get The Captain to fire up the old jet and come on out,” Addison finished as some bread was placed on the table. She reached over and took a piece. 

“Well,” he stumbled over his words for a second, “I see you have changed. The Addison I knew didn’t use that language,”. 

“Well, the Seattle air has done me well,” she mimicked his own words for earlier. Why did she decide to do this? She wanted to leave already, “I’m a whole new girl,” she said instead of leaving, focusing on the bread in her hands. She needed to know one more thing. “Does Bizzy know you’re here?” Addison asked. 

“There was a point when you liked spending time with me,” he was so calm, cool and measured. Addison hated it. 

“I told you last time, I’m done,” she spoke quicker than him. She would say her piece then leave. “That I was finished,” Addison went on, “Then you have the nerve to come back,”. 

“That was just an argument,” he shrugged.

“No. That was me getting away from you,”.   
  
“I can’t imagine why you are behaving like this?”. He was treating her like a child. She couldn’t believe what he was saying. 

“You can’t imagine, huh?” Addison had to use all her power to keep from shouting, “So, let's see,” she looked up and away from him, “Was it the secretary with the legs, the blonde from your office, four of my nannies,” she was slowly losing her temper as she listed everyone she’d caught him cheating with, “three maids, oh, Jolene, my french tutor, Louise the chef?” Addison was running out of names, “There were so many. I can’t remember, can you?” she asked him pointedly. 

“You don’t talk to me that way, I’m your father,”. Finally, he wasn’t so casual and that was the one thing he wasn’t. 

“I do talk to you that way. I do. I do,” this was finally Addison’s chance to say what she wanted to say, she’d never had the confidence before, “After thirty-nine years and a very intense year of therapy after my ex-husband left me because I did exactly what you do. I do talk to you that way now,” she needed an answer to her question. “Does Bizzy know you’re here?”. 

“Your mother thinks I’m in France,” he admitted, he couldn’t even meet Addison’s eyes as he said it. Just perfect. Of course, she thought that. 

“Once again, I am supposed to lie to her for you,” Addison shook her head in disbelief. 

  
“Addison, I came here to see you. To,” he stumbled over his words again, “To start over,” he eventually finished as Addison reached for her bag and stood up, “We’re family,”. That was the last thing they were. 

“We’re done,” Addison told him curtly as she walked out. Why did she do that to herself? She still had half a day of surgery to get through. If she was lucky, she might be able to spend it in the NICU with no crisis’ just looking at the cute babies. Unfortunately, she wasn’t lucky, emergency surgery and a mother in labour as soon as she got back. She ended up not being finished up at work till eight o’clock when she went downstairs to find Meredith sitting in one of the chairs waiting for her. Her day got a little better then. She smiled at her girlfriend as she walked over. 

“What takeaway should we get tonight?” Meredith asked as she stood up and swung her bag onto her shoulder. Maybe, Addison’s day got a whole lot better. She slipped her hand into Meredith’s with a smile. 

  
“Chinese,” she suggested. 

“I love you for saying that,” Meredith smiled, turning her head and meeting Addison’s lips in a quick kiss. 

“I love you too,” Addison smiled as they made their way back to the car. 

  
She didn’t tell Meredith about her day till that evening when they were lying in bed and she couldn’t fall asleep. Addison could feel that Meredith was almost half asleep next to her but she needed to tell someone, she needed to tell Meredith. 

“My father’s in town,” she ended up speaking at a normal volume instead of at a whisper. 

“What?” Meredith questioned, turning over to face her.

“Look, my family is messed up,” Addison sighed, looking decisively at the ceiling, “I call my father ‘The Captain’ and my mother ‘Bizzy’,”. Meredith shuffled closer and Addison naturally wrapped her arms around her girlfriend and pulled her closer; Meredith rested her head on Addison’s chest. 

“I don’t talk to them. They don’t talk to me, that’s how it’s worked for years. A little while ago, The Captain and I had a fight and I told him never to talk to me again and now he’s here and I don’t want to see him but I can’t stop thinking about him being here,” Addison sighed. 

“What was your fight about?” Meredith asked gently. 

Addison took a deep breath, “He cheats. He’s cheated with every woman he’s ever laid eyes on and he’s made me lie and cover it up more times than I can count and more times than I can remember. I don’t think even he can remember how many women he’s cheated with. My nannies, my tutors, everyone. I just couldn’t lie anymore and now he’s here and Bizzy thinks he’s in France and I have to lie again,”. 

“Is he here because of another woman or is it something else?” Meredith had the same thought train as she did. Addison did like someone as bitter and untrusting as she was to talk to sometimes. 

Addison smiled a little, “Apparently, he’s here to see me. I’m not sure if I believe him though,”. 

“Maybe, you should give him another chance,” Meredith suggested gently, and if Addison weren’t already lying down, she would have to sit down. 

“What?” she asked. 

“It’s no secret I didn’t have a good relationship with my parents. Thatcher left and me and mom just didn’t fit, we fought all the time, she almost broke me but I also want another chance. A chance to say my piece, to get to know her when I’m confident enough to actually stand up to her and when she has full brain function because the last two times we left it, when she was lucid, it was on a fight where she told me that I wasn’t good enough,” Meredith took a deep breath, “So, maybe you should give him another chance to make amends because no one knows how many chances you get,”. 

Addison thought about her girlfriend’s words for a second; she hated to admit she was right because she really didn’t want to see him but it felt so unfinished and she did want to say her piece. “I love you,” she whispered, hugging her closer as Meredith looked up at Addison from where her head rested on her chest. 

“I love you too,” Meredith smiled, moving closer so she could meet her lips in a kiss. 

-

Addison stood staring at the number on the hotel room door. She couldn’t bring herself to knock, not quite yet. Her phone buzzed with a text. She fished it out of her pocket. 

**Meredith:** Sorry, I couldn’t see you off. I love you. You’ve got this. 

Addison smiled and slipped her phone back in her pocket and lifted her hand and knocked on the door. He opened it quite quickly and Addison felt the anger boil back up. She tried to focus on thinking of something else, anything else, anyone else. 

“Can I come in?” she asked. He looked surprised at her words as he stepped to the side to let her in. Addison walked past him and looked around the room. “You always get the best room,” she commented as she observed the view over the river, the ferryboat visible in the distance. 

“I’m a Montgomery,” he spoke from behind her before she took a deep breath and turned to face him. What does she even say right now?

“Did you wanna- er-” he gestured to the sofas in front of them. 

“Er,” Addison forgot how to respond for a second before she started to function again, “Yes,” she ran her hand through her hair as she went to take a seat in the armchair, he went over to the couch. She kept her jacket clutched in her hand as she sat down, her bag close by. She was going to need to be prepared for a quick escape. 

“I was thinking about how I used to take you out on the boat when you were little, just you and me,” he started to speak before Addison could. “And I’d teach you how to sail, we’d sail together,” he was smiling at the memories, “Those were our best times,”. He wasn’t exactly wrong but it wasn’t like there was much to compare it to. 

“Yes,” Addison agreed with a smile but she didn’t meet his eyes as she nodded, “They were,”. 

“I want more best times, just you and me,”. Addison felt herself tense up at those words. She didn’t want that. She wasn’t that girl anymore and she really didn’t want that. She just wanted to say her piece. She wanted to tell him he wasn’t her family anymore because he wasn’t no matter how hard he tried so she thought about Meredith’s words. This might be her only chance so she took a deep breath and leant forward a little. 

“You’re not my family,” the words left her mouth and she felt herself breathe a bit easier, “I have a family. I work with them every day, and we all care about each other and take care of each other, and we are always there for each other. And when I lie for them, when they lie for me, when we lie for each other. It’s not to hurt people, it’s for a reason, it’s for good, it’s for lives saved,” Addison thought about all the times they’d lied. It wasn’t often but it was always to save lives. When Izzie lied about Denny she was just trying to save him, that was the first one that came to mind, she couldn’t go through all of them. 

“They’re my family, not you,” she saw the hurt on The Captain's face and started to feel bad, “I’m sorry,” she didn’t know what to say as she stumbled a bit, “Not you,” she finished, bracing herself to stand up. 

“But you came here,” his confidence had dropped as he spoke again. 

“I don’t forgive you,” Addison was still ready to stand up but something kept her from leaving. 

“But you’re here?” he questioned. 

Addison took a deep breath, “I am,” she moved her hands so they were in her lap, no longer ready to push herself out of the chair. She was here, she’d said her piece and she didn’t want to leave entirely. “I’m here,”. 

She left not long after that, she felt finished. They scheduled lunch in a couple of days time. She just wanted to get home and talk to Meredith. 

“Addie?” Meredith called from the kitchen as she shut the door behind her. What on Earth was her girlfriend doing in the kitchen. She couldn’t cook. “I ordered Thai. How did it go?” Meredith added and Addison breathed a sigh of relief. 

  
“That’s perfect,” she smiled, kicking off her shoes and putting away her coat before she went into the kitchen where Meredith was laying out the takeaway and she only wanted to say one thing. 

  
“I love you,” Addison smiled over at her girlfriend from the doorway. 

  
“I love you too,” Meredith replied almost automatically, “The food’s getting cold and you need to tell me how it went,”. 

“Mer?” Addison smiled. 

  
“What?” Meredith looked up for the first time, “Did something happen? Did it go wrong?” she asked, panicked, dropping the forks she was holding and going over to Addison. 

“No,” Addison shrugged, “Nothing went wrong, it went better than expected actually, thank you,”. Addison pulled her girlfriend closer, wrapping her arms around her waist. If it were legal she might take her to a courthouse and marry her right now. 

  
“Why are you thanking me?” Meredith smiled. 

  
“Just, thank you,” Addison shrugged before she pulled her girlfriend into a kiss. 

“Do I get to hear about it or not?” Meredith asked as the kiss broke. 

  
“Yes, you do,” Addison laughed. 


	2. the captain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have the next chapter written and there is a reason i am doing this exploration into addison with meredith there... i am writing this for one scene and trust me it's will be so worth it.
> 
> also the self-restraint provided for me not to put a terrible gay joke at an inopportune time when it really doesn't fit the characterisation was so hard and made me wish i had another character there just to make the joke.

It was two minutes into lunch with her father and Addison already wanted to leave. She did not want this. Nope. Decisively, this was one of the most awkward situations she’d ever been in and she had been in a lot of awkward situations. What did they say to each other? She was just sitting there staring at her father. 

“I would love to come to visit your place sometime,” he smiled. That would require her coming out and her parents were WASPS from Connecticut, she didn’t predict that going down well. 

“So we can sit there and stare at each other in silence without even a waiter to interrupt us, I don’t think so,” Addison quipped. 

“How’s work?” he tried. 

“I have a mother with a highly geriatric pregnancy with a fetus with severe Hydrocephalus and I am completing an in-utero operation to drain it this afternoon,” Addison smiled. 

“Are you using a balloon inflation technique to relieve the pressure?” he asked. 

“Of course,” Addison smiled, crossing her legs and taking a sip from her drink as she leant back in her chair. He took a deep breath and started to lecture her on something she already knew. She was a double-board certified fetal-neonatal surgeon and OB/GYN and the best of her kind on the West Coast, still, she nodded along and listened, commenting and smiling politely in all the right places because it was easier than finding a different topic. 

He walked her back to the hospital to finish the lecture and she only found herself breathing a sigh of relief as he left her. She breathed another one when she bumped into Meredith. 

“How was lunch?” Meredith asked as she handed her a coffee. 

“I sat there as he lectured me on how to do a surgery I can do in my sleep,” she sighed, “Thank you,” she added, holding up the coffee. 

“No problem,” Meredith smiled. “Does he realise how qualified you are?”. 

“He’s never been there for any big events in my life. Who would expect him to know me?” Addison shrugged as Meredith straightened up and moved back from Addison a bit, withdrawing her hand. 

“Behind you,” she whispered, raising her eyebrows and nodding over Addison’s shoulder. He was still here. 

“Addison,” he called out with a smile. 

“Captain,” Addison smiled politely.

He smiled, taking a deep breath, “I was wondering if I could watch your surgery this afternoon,”. Addison couldn’t hide her smile as her heart swelled. He finally wanted to watch something of hers. 

“Um,” Addison was in a little bit of shock, she had no idea what to say, “Yeah,” she was genuinely lost for words. 

“Mr Montgomery, there’s a gallery you can watch surgeries from. I can take you there in a bit. I believe Doctor Stevens is just prepping the patient for surgery,” Meredith saved her and Addison breathed a sigh of relief. 

“Are you sure?” Addison whispered quietly to her girlfriend. 

“Yeah, I was going to do my charts up there and watch anyway,” Meredith smiled, “It’s no big deal,”. 

“Thank you…” The Captain paused, looking Meredith up and down. God, her father was checking out her girlfriend. Addison attempted to will the floor to open up and swallow her or maybe she could just punch him in the face. She took a deep breath. He was being nice, she could do the same and humiliate him later. 

“Doctor Grey,” Meredith supplied politely. 

“Any relation to Ellis Grey,” The Captain laughed.

“She was my mother, actually,” Meredith smiled.

“Oh,” The Captain looked at Meredith in disbelief, “Right. God, I haven’t heard anything about her in years,”. 

“She passed away,” Meredith explained as her hand found hers behind Addison’s back in a way no one would notice. Addison gave it a squeeze and couldn’t help but smile. 

“Why don’t you wait over there and Doctor Grey can find you in a minute,” Addison suggested, though it was less of a suggestion and more of an order. 

“That’s fine,” The Captain shrugged, going over to the waiting area. 

Addison pretended to check her pager and pulled Meredith down the hall and into a supply closet and started to laugh because it was so ironic. 

“Are you okay?” Meredith asked, taking a hold of her hands. 

“I just pulled my girlfriend into a closet to tell her I plan on staying in the closet and seeing how this surgery goes,” Addison shook her head as she stood laughing but Meredith suddenly started laughing. 

“Irony is cruel,” she smiled widely. 

“Don’t,” Addison shook her head and she smiled and started to laugh again. She couldn’t help it. She looked at her girlfriend, shaking her head. “God, I love you,” she smiled. 

“I love you too,” Meredith smiled, pulling her in by her waist and into a quick kiss, “Now go scrub and I’ll take your father to the gallery,”. 

“Okay,” Addison breathed, “Don’t show him where the microphone is,”. 

“I won’t,” Meredith smiled, pressing another kiss to her lips, “I love you,”. 

  
“I love you too,” Addison smiled as she opened the door. Meredith headed straight to the nurses’ station and picked up her charts before she headed over to where The Captain had taken a seat and showed him to the OR gallery. They got there just as the surgery was starting. No one else was in the gallery. Meredith was hoping for other people in the gallery. 

She took a seat and took a pen out of her pocket and started to work on writing up her notes as she waited for the surgery to start. The Captain took a seat a couple over and it wasn’t soon after that the surgery began. He didn’t say much at the beginning, only commented as the surgery began to get a little difficult. 

“I wish she could give the baby a paralytic to slow everything down,” he commented. 

“Can’t, mother’s too old,” Meredith responded almost absentmindedly, she had been hearing Addison worry about that part of the operation for the last couple of days. 

“Could, I would,” he commented. He reminded Meredith over her mother. 

“I’ve learned not to second guess her, she’s normally right,” Meredith tried to discreetly defend her girlfriend. 

“I didn’t mean to,” The Captain looked over at Meredith for a second, his focus still fully on the surgery, “But that’s nice, you’re being protective. I can only imagine what she’s said about me,”. Meredith panicked a little, did he no more than they thought?

“She hasn’t said anything,” she lied outright. Addison had said a lot of things. 

“Are you two close?” he asked. 

“We are,” Meredith smiled. He was an old man. Old men assume heterosexuality especially when their daughters are married to men for twelve years. 

Addison began to inflate the balloon, “Have you ever seen Addison do surgery before?” Meredith asked, giving up on her charts. 

“Not since she was a kid,” The Captain smiled, “When she was eight or nine, she used to love to come to the university with me and sit in the back of my class cutting on a hot dog while my other students worked on their cadavers. She always wanted to impress me,”. 

Meredith had to stop herself saying what she wanted to say. She could see so much of her mother in The Captain. Her time in OR galleries and hard work at school secretly trying to impress her mother, not that she would admit it. “With a hotdog?” she asked instead. 

“Have you ever tried to take the casing off in one piece? It’s like separating the dura from the cerebral cortex. She’s gotten good at it clearly,” The Captain’s voice quietened as he spoke, leaning forward and focusing on Addison as she went through a problem, mumbling instructions under his breath. She got through the complication and finished the surgery with ease. 

“She’s good,” he smiled proudly, looking down at his daughter as she glanced up at him for just a second, he gave her a nod and a smile. 

“Where’s the exit to the OR?” he asked, turning to Meredith. 

“I’ll show you the way in a minute,” she smiled, gathering up her charts before she took him down to the surgical floor. 

“Have you chosen a speciality?” he asked on the way, “I’m assuming you're a resident based off your scrubs,”. 

“General, actually,” Meredith smiled. 

“Following in Ellis’ footsteps,” he smiled. 

“I prefer to think I’m creating my own path,” Meredith shrugged. 

Addison walked out of the scrub room as they made it down there, Meredith went to leave to go put her charts back and find wherever her interns had got to but Addison gave her a look that made her stop and look thoughtfully at the surgical board, pretending not to listen in. 

“Congratulations,” The Captain spoke softly. 

“Thank you,” she could hear Addison a little flustered but not much. 

“Your work is elegant. I was glad to be here,” The Captain went on, and Meredith snuck a glance over her shoulder to see Addison smile, and she smiled to herself. 

“I’m glad you were,” Addison smiled, it was a little restrained in the way she was trying and failing a little to hide her emotions. “Look if um,” Addison reached a hand behind her neck to play with her hair like she always did when she was nervous, “If you still wanna see my place, you could come over tonight for a drink, around seven,” she offered, folding her arms across her chest. She glanced over to Meredith for just a second with a smile. Meredith knew what that meant. 

The Captain seemed to smile too, “Sure,” he spoke softly. 

Addison walked around him, “I need to go inform the patient’s family it went well. Can you find your way out?” she asked, looking over her shoulder. 

“Yeah, I’ll be fine,” he smiled and Addison walked next to Meredith as they left the surgical floor for the patient waiting area. The lift down a floor giving them a second of alone time. 

“It went well,” Addison breathed a sigh of relief, “Did he grill you at all?”. 

“No,” Meredith smiled, “Just found out about your hot dog surgery,”.

“Oh god,” Addison groaned, leaning against the wall, “I forgot about that,”. 

“I wouldn’t panic. Apparently, you were very good at it,” Meredith laughed at her girlfriend’s exasperation as they left the elevator. 

“You know, I might be changing my mind about drinks,” Addison teased. 

“You won’t,” Meredith smiled, kissing Addison’s cheek before she went to put her charts away. 

-

“I heard the Captain watched one of your surgeries,” Mark sidled up next to Addison a few hours later, she was getting ready to leave. 

“Where do you hear all these things?” Addison sighed. 

“I have my sources,” Mark smiled smugly, “How was it?”. 

“He was actually okay. I was worried he would give me some sort of speech about upholding the Montgomery name or some weird lecture but he didn’t, he called it elegant,” Addison smiled, looking over at Mark and then she saw his face. “Okay, what do you know?” Addison sighed. 

  
“I know nothing,” Mark denied, his voice higher than usual as he avoided eye contact. 

“Mark, I know you. What happened?” Addison sighed, giving him a look of disbelief. 

“He slept with a nurse,” Mark admitted at a whisper. 

“Of course he did,” Addison sighed, “Of course he did,”. 

-

“What happened?” Meredith asked as soon as Addison walked up to her, reading everything on her face. 

“The Captain slept with a nurse,” Addison sighed, “Because, he’s The Captain,”. 

“I keep emergency tequila in the car. I’ll drive,” Meredith offered, slipping her hand into Addison’s. 

Addison smiled at her girlfriend, “I love you,”. 

“I love you too,” Meredith laughed. 

They got to the car and Meredith reached over and opened the glove compartment to reveal a bottle of tequila and a stack of plastic cups. “Why do you even have this?” Addison laughed in complete disbelief. 

“Leftover from Cristina and Burke’s wedding. I thought if she ran, she could use a drink so I put this in the car. It’s proved useful on occasions since,” Meredith smiled. 

“You thought Cristina was going to run?”. 

“She never wanted to get married in the first place,” Meredith shrugged, “I thought I’d be prepared,”. 

“With alcohol?” Addison asked in shock. 

“And a change of clothes, an eyebrow pencil, tissues and water,” Meredith smiled, “The alcohol was mainly for dealing with various parents,”. 

“Appropriate,” Addison laughed as she poured a shallow cup’s worth. She didn’t plan on spilling any as Meredith drove them home. 

-

Addison paced up and down the living room, he was going to be here soon. Meredith smiled at her from the stairs, coming down from their bedroom having changed. “Do you want me to hide upstairs or stay with you downstairs?” she asked, resting her head on her hands that were lying on the bannister and smiling cutely. 

Addison struggled with what to say. “I don’t mind what you do,” Meredith shrugged, “Whatever you think is best. I’m not about to pressure you into coming out. You come out when you’re ready,”. 

“Can you wait upstairs?” Addison asked quietly. 

“Okay,” Meredith smiled, running down the stairs and over to Addison and pressing a kiss to her lips, “I love you,”. 

“I love you too,” Addison smiled, pressing another kiss to Meredith’s lips. She’d much rather do this than wait to get even angrier at her father. They heard a car down the street, stopping in front of their house. 

Meredith placed one last kiss to her lips before she ran off upstairs with a smile thrown over her shoulder. There was a knock at the door and Addison went to open it to see her father standing there in the doorway. 

“Addison,” he sighed, he knew straight away by the look on her face as he stepped inside the house. 

“I have tolerated them. I may not have forgiven you but I have tolerated them all. This is different. You go to my place of work and sleep with someone I now have to see every single day because you felt like it. As bad as I feel about myself for covering for you for all these years and as depressing as it is to watch Archer follow in your footsteps nothing compares to hearing that because it finally told me that you can’t do anything nice," Addison took a deep breath.

"It made me wonder. I wonder why is it you can be so good that every other woman seems to want you yet as soon as it comes Bizzy and me you can’t? Why are we the exception? Why are we the exception when we are the people that love you the most?” Addison watched her father stand there in front of her as the tears fell down her face. 

“Ad-”. 

“Get out,” she told him, pointing to the door. 

“Addi-”. 

“Get out,” she reached behind him, opening the door up, “Just get out,”. He looked between her and the door for a second before he walked out. 

“I’m not giving up,” he added before walking out. Addison shut the door behind him and leaned against and counted down from five to try and get her breathing under control. 

Five. 

Four.

Three.

Two. 

“Addie,” she could hear Meredith running down the stairs and she looked up to see her kneeling in front of where she had slid down to the floor. “I’m right here,” she whispered, pressing a kiss to the side of her head as she pulled her into a hug.

Addison pulled herself together by the morning. She had surgery, she had no choice to pull herself together so she did, with some of Meredith’s help, and got on with her day. Then she did the same the next day and then the day after. The day after she got five texts and three voicemails from her father and figured she should probably check them. Her mother was flying in. Just brilliant.

“Walk tall, I love you,” Meredith told her just before she left. So that’s what she did as she walked into the private airstrip with her newspaper and took a seat next to her father. She stood tall. 

“You came?” her father asked, surprised. 

“I was summoned,” Addison quipped, not looking at her father at all and focusing on her book. 

“That’s an interesting one,” he leaned over, pointing at the page. 

“No,” Addison refused to look at him. 

“Addison,”. 

“If you wanna tell me something. Tell me why she’s coming,” she still made sure she didn’t make any eye contact with her father. 

“You can ask herself yourself,” he sighed, standing up and leaving. 

“Where are you going?”. 

“Just wanted to make sure you showed up, now that you’re here,” he shrugged. 

“What? Er. Captain,” she called after him. What was she meant to do? She really didn’t want to deal with Bizzy alone. “You can’t just- Bizzy’s here,” she couldn’t find a full sentence, “What is going on?” she tried. 

He turned and took a deep breath, “Ask your mother,”. 

Addison resigned to walking out onto that airstrip to meet the most judgemental woman on the planet in the vague hope she’d find out what on Earth was going on. 

“You cut your hair?” she asked, surprised. It wasn’t that much shorter but she had gone a little shorter than usual a little after she and Meredith had gotten together. 

  
“Yeah,” she smiled. 

“Hmm,” Bizzy nodded, walking past Addison. Addison turned to follow her with a sigh. 

“So, The Captain was here but he left us-”. 

“It was a dreadful flight, dreadful food, dreadful staff,” Bizzy cut Addison off with their usual meaningless conversation, “I’m going to make a complaint to Wilson,”. 

“Right,” Addison took a deep breath. 

“I cannot believe you moved to this place,” Bizzy complained, looking around, “But here I am,”. 

Addison was going to try and find out what on Earth was going on, “Yes, about that, I was surprised that you actually came to visit,”. 

“Addison, don’t push,” Bizzy stopped walking and turned to face her. “You know short hair isn’t for everyone, some people look older with it,”. Of course. Of course, she said that with that fake smile before she carried on walking. Why did Addison even bother? Addison was left standing there on the tarmac as Bizzy carried on walking inside. 

They went to lunch with the usual pointless conversation and then Addison found herself shopping and then for some reason both The Captain and Bizzy were back at her place. They’d sort of invited themselves and now they were making each other drinks and her mother’s bags were upstairs. She observed them from the hallway with her dry martini. It was weird. She texted Meredith to warn her but told her not to bother hiding their relationship, she couldn’t be bothered with that. She wasn’t going to hide in her own home. In their own home. 

Addison heard a car pull up and then a silhouette in the doorway, a familiar silhouette. Meredith came through the door a second later and Addison found the air in the room a little easier to breathe. 

“Hi Addie,” Meredith smiled as she walked in, taking off her coat and shoes before going up to her and pressing a kiss to her cheek. Addison turned and stole one from her lips. 

“Hi Mer,” she smiled as Meredith leaned against the wall next to her, watching her parents. 

“What are we doing?” Meredith whispered. 

  
“Observing the WASP phenomena,” Addison shrugged, taking a sip from her glass.

“The WASP phenomena is talking about flowers?” Meredith whispered, “How is there so much tension in a conversation about flowers?”. 

“Trust me, they are not chatting about flowers. They are speaking WASP, I learnt it at a young age,” Addison observed the weird conversation, she couldn’t figure this one out. 

  
“What are they saying then?” Meredith asked. 

“That’s the thing, usually I know, but I have no idea,” Addison spoke slowly but she started to speed up, “Maybe, I’m crazy. Maybe, everything is fine which would be creepy because nothing is ever fine, not usuallyhereshecomes,” Addison trailed off as Bizzy walked over. 

“I’m going to get a top-up,” Meredith whispered, taking Addison’s glass from her hand and walking off past her. 

“Who’s that?” Bizzy asked, looking at Meredith disappearing into the kitchen. 

“My girlfriend,” Addison smiled, “We moved in together,”.

“Is there going to be enough room in this place with a roommate,” her mother looked around judgmentally and Addison heard a cough that barely disguised a laugh from the kitchen. 

“For what?” Addison asked. 

“Well, if your father and I are going to be staying here-”. 

“Stay here,” Addison repeated in surprise. Since when. She could not deal with that. 

“Why don't you just take this?” Meredith smiled as she returned with a new martini and at the same time as there was a knock at the door. 

“That’ll be Susan,” Bizzy smiled, going to get the door. 

“Susan?” Meredith asked. 

“My mother’s secretary and my lifesaver whenever I have to interact with my parents. Where my mother goes, she goes,” Addison smiled as Susan was ushered in by her mother. 

“Captain,” Susan addressed The Captain curtly as Bizzy led her into the living room talking about plans for a charity ball. Now that was proper tension. 

“Excuse me,” The Captain looked furious as he stood up and left the room, heading directly upstairs. 

“Captain?” Addison turned to her father with confusion. 

  
“Goodnight, Addison,” he dismissed her completely. 

“I’m going to make more drinks,” Addison grabbed Meredith’s hand and pulled her into the kitchen. 

“Susan has been working for us for twenty years, she’s like one of the family. She lives on the estate and...” Addison briefed Meredith as she started to pace up and down the room but she didn’t know what to say next.

“You think The Captain’s sleeping with her,” Meredith smiled and Addison turned to face her. 

“Yes. Okay, I’m not crazy,” she sighed with relief before starting to panic again, “That’s why he sent for Bizzy because where she goes, Susan goes with her. I can’t deal with this. I can’t. My mother trusts her and right under her nose,”. 

“Addie,” Meredith cut her off, taking a hold of her hands, “You could tell them to leave and follow my general rule of pretending you don’t have parents,”. 

“That sounds so appealing,” Addison groaned, “If they ever actually listened to me. They are The Captain and Bizzy,”. 

“And you’re Addison Adrianne Forbes Montgomery,” Meredith shrugged, “I have seen almost break Alex Karev. I’m sure you can stand up to some measly old people,”. 

“Okay, I can tell them to leave,” Addison smiled, taking a deep breath, “Tell them to leave,” she turned to leave the kitchen. 

“I’m going to bed, by the way,” Meredith smiled, pressing a kiss to her cheek before she walked off ahead of her.

“I’ll join you in a minute,” Addison smiled, it was getting late, around eleven at night.

They weren’t in the living room anymore. Addison followed Meredith up the stairs and turned the other way, following the noise coming from Izzie’s old room. Really? Here. Addison leaned against the wall next to it before she had the strength to open it. She took a deep breath and opened the door. Nothing prepared her for what she saw. Her mother kissing Susan. Bizzy kissing Susan. Susan kissing Bizzy. She couldn’t say anything as they jumped apart and looked at her. She wasn’t doing this, not today. She walked on autopilot back to her and Meredith’s bedroom, a safe haven. 

“Mer?” she called in, she was already changed into the Dartmouth t-shirt and nothing else but Addison barely noticed.

“What happened?” Meredith asked, concerned. 

“I’ll tell you in the morning,” Addison whispered, she didn’t know how to put it into words right now. What? When? Why? How? The questions just floated around her head as she lay down on the bed. Meredith didn’t say anything, she just lay down next to her and wrapped her arms around her. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please drop a comment... it helps me thrive in hard times and i have four essays to write today and tomorrow (and i'm writing fanfic instead (don't judge me (it's my lockdown, it get to choose the coping mechanism))  
> avi :)


	3. no more parents

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Addison and Meredith deal with the fallout

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is mostly fluff with some angst but mostly fluff... so much fluff

They were late for work. They woke up the morning that Addison had seen that and they were late for work. Addison was trying to pull on a dress while Meredith dressed into something more casual. They were going to have to grab breakfast elsewhere and they hadn’t had time to talk. 

“Can you zip me up?” she eventually resigned to asking Meredith and it was just a second before the dress was on and a kiss was placed to the back of her neck before they both ran off out the bedroom door and straight into Susan. 

The woman went to say something. “We’re late,” Addison cut her off curtly, continuing on her journey down the stairs and following Meredith out of the house. 

“What happened last night?” Meredith asked as Addison pulled out of the driveway. 

“I walked in on my mother kissing Susan,” Addison smiled. 

“No,” Meredith turned to face Addison in complete disbelief. 

“Yes,” Addison shook her head in disbelief, “Though part of me thinks I might have hallucinated,”. 

“It would explain the weird energy between Susan and your father,” Meredith commented as they drove through the streets, it wasn’t a long drive. 

“If he knew. That just makes my whole life a lie,” Addison sounded so distant as she spoke, “I can’t deal with this, right now. I just can’t,”. 

“Okay,” Meredith shrugged, perfectly unquestioning because she understood Addison so easily.

Addison managed to almost forget by the time she had finished her second c-section of the morning. This was what she was made to do, bring life into the world. Easy and simple and then her mother had shown up at the hospital. Also known as the last thing she wanted to see. She really just wanted to go and have lunch with her girlfriend, not talk to her cheating mother but her day didn’t seem to want to go that nice and easy way. 

“I was thinking we could go shopping this afternoon,” her mother asked as she walked up to Addison. 

“I’m busy,” Addison blew her off. 

“You have a lunch break, don’t you?” Bizzy questioned. 

“I have lunch with Meredith,” Addison replied curtly, carrying on walking down into the hallway. 

Bizzy followed her, “Addie,” she called after her softly. 

Addison spun around as she reached the stairs, “No, Bizzy, no,” she told her before she spun back around and pushed open the door to the stairway and walked in, letting the door swing shut behind her. Bizzy pushed through the door behind her. 

“You and Meredith, you’re in a relationship?” she called after her.

Addison spun around to face her mother, two steps above her, “Yes, we are, congratulations for figuring it out around,” Addison looked down at her watch, “Thirteen hours after I told you,” she spun back around and carried on up the stairs. 

“Addison,” Bizzy called after her. 

“Not today,” Addison dismissed. 

“Addison Adrianne Forbes Montgomery,” Bizzy didn’t yell however she spoke so sharply Addison couldn’t help but turn around to face her and take in a deep breath. She felt like a five-year-old again. 

She took another deep breath and reminded herself who she was. She wasn’t about to be intimidated by her mother. Not today, not anymore. “No,” Addison measured her words, “Not today. Not today because you are making me hate you because now, it’s not just The Captain who cheats and you are the one I pity for and lie to for him. Now, you cheat too. I hate The Captain for cheating and now I hate you too. I used to have one parent I could like. Now, I hate you both and I am so mad at you for taking that away from me. So, no. Not today because all I really want to do is go and eat lunch with my girlfriend and listen to her tell me about her day,”. Addison didn’t raise her voice once as she spoke, each word was deliberate and measured. She turned back around to leave and walked up a few stairs before her mother’s voice stopped her. 

“It’s not the same,” her voice cracked as she spoke, “Addison, it’s not the same,”. Addison couldn’t bear to look at her mother but she didn’t move away anymore. 

“Susan and I have been together for twenty years,” Bizzy spoke again. Addison did the mental maths. That can’t be right. She turned around to look at her mother. 

“There was one girl in boarding school when I was fourteen and then there was the one in Switzerland on holiday when I was seventeen,” her mother had completely composed herself, back to woman who Addison spoke with about shopping, the walls built back up around her, “But those don’t count, it was cold and we were girls but,” she paused for a second, “Then I met Susan,”. 

Addison took a seat on the stairs, her head falling into her hands, “And The Captain?”. 

“What about him?” Bizzy asked with a shrug. 

“Does he know?” Addison lifted her head back up out of her hands, looking at her mother in disbelief. 

“Doctor Montgomery?” Alex burst into the stairwell. 

“Alex, is it an emergency?”. 

“No. Mrs Wheeler was just wondering about her options with the condition,”.

Addison sighed in exasperation, “Do you know the options?”. 

“Yes,”. 

“Then, explain them to her and tell her I’ll be there as soon as possible,” Addison turned back to her mother as he left, “Does he?”. 

“We don’t discuss it but, yes, he knows. I think he’s always known,”. Addison shook her head in disbelief. All these years of guilt at lying for her father and she knew the whole time. They both knew about each other yet they still let her and Archer get stuck in the middle of them, lying for their father. Her whole life was a lie. Addison felt tears sting the back of her eyes. She blinked them back. 

“Did you ever love him?” she asked and watched as her mother stayed silent and avoided her gaze. “Bizzy! Why did you marry him?” Addison asked desperately searching for an answer, an explanation for her life. 

  
“We’re from Connecticut,” Bizzy shrugged as though it explained everything. Addison let her head fall into her hands and shook her head trying to hold the tears back. “My father is a Bradford Forbes,” she went on as if that provided even more clarity even though it gave Addison nothing. 

Addison lifted her head, wiping the tears from her face and took a deep breath, leaning forward, “Okay, so, let me get this straight. You’re the cheating whore, not Dad,”. 

  
“I’m gonna go,” Bizzy went to turn around and walk out, “If you talk like that I’ll go,” she turned around as she reached the door and looked at Addison sincerely, “You have no idea how difficult it was,”. 

Addison lost it, she stood up and walked closer to her mother, down a few steps, “Oh, come on, Bizzy. How hard could it have been? All you had to do was be a mother and a wife,”. All the things she had ever wanted to say to Bizzy or The Captain started to boil up, “All you had to do was order the housekeeper around, run your charities and maybe, see your kids from time to time. How complicated is that?”. She walked back up a few steps. She couldn’t stay close to her. 

“You have no idea,” Bizzy stepped forward, “You don’t know me! You don’t know me!”. Of course, Addison didn’t know her. That’s the way her mother had made it, “You don’t know anything. You don’t know one single thing about me,”. 

“And who’s fault is that?” Addison questioned her. She just wanted her to admit it was her fault. Say she was sorry for the lies and her lack of presence in Addison’s life. She just wanted to hear that one word. Five letters. 

“I could have done things! I could have been things!” Bizzy wasn’t shouting but it felt like she was with the force that her words hit Addison. “But I’m a Forbes,” she calmed down a bit as she spoke as if her words reminded her who she was, “So I got married because that was what I was supposed to do and I chose your father because he asked and he was nice and he seemed like he wouldn’t suffocate me and by the time I realised my mistake I had children,”. Finally, Bizzy showed an emotion other than anger, tears glistened in her eyes. 

“So I made a life. I did what I could with what I had and I may not have been in love with your father but I loved him. I do love him and I love you and your brother,”. Addison couldn’t stop the tears streaming down her face now as she took a seat on the stairs again. 

“And so instead of doing what I wanted to, which was run or slit my wrists,” those final words came out so violently that Addison couldn’t even look at her mother, her head falling into her hands. “I threw birthday parties and I smiled and I kept my mouth shut and I raised you and your brother and you both turned out brilliantly,”. Addison looked up at her again, wiping her eyes and taking a deep breath. 

“Susan was for me. Susan was the one thing that was for me. My children took everything else and I’m sorry but until you have a child, you have no idea what it was like to be a mother,”. Each word was a blow to Addison, hitting her straight in the chest where it physically hurt, the kind of emotional pain that literally hurt your heart. She shook her head and let her head fall against one of her hands again. 

“You have no idea the sacrifice a woman makes when she has children so don’t you dare judge me,” her mother’s voice broke and Addison heard the door slam and she was alone in the stairwell. 

-

Meredith saw Bizzy leave the stairwell and ran in before the door was even shut. Alex had warned her. She saw Addison on the stairs, her head in her hands, tears clearly streaming down her face and took a deep breath before she ran to Addison’s side, taking a seat next to her. 

“I could get you some hot chocolate if you want?” Meredith suggested. 

Addison clearly hadn’t noticed her before that moment as she blinked and looked at Meredith in surprise and then relief, “How did you know I was here?” she asked. 

“Alex,” Meredith shrugged with a small smile. 

“Of course,” Addison took a deep breath, leaning into Meredith's side and resting her head on her shoulder. 

“I think my mother would’ve been better off if I was never born,” she admitted quietly after a few seconds. 

“Join the club,” Meredith smiled, “I can’t do much to help with the sadness and self-loathing that comes with that fact, to be honest, but I can promise you that we can make a pact,”.

“What pact?” Addison took a deep breath, wiping her tears away as they started to slow down. 

“We never invite parents to stay again and we kick them out if they show up uninvited,” Meredith smiled, “And that we never invite them to any big events,”. 

“Big events?” Addison asked curiously with a smile. She had some idea she knew what Meredith was referring to, “Are you referring to what I think you are?”. 

“We don’t even need to think about that for years,” Meredith shrugged, “It’s not legal,”. 

“Okay,” Addison nodded slowly, “But they won’t be there,”. 

“They won’t be there when we get married,” Meredith smiled, “Just our family,”. 

“Our family,” Addison offered Meredith her pinky and Meredith took it in hers. 

“No parents ever,” Meredith smiled widely, “At anything,”. 

“No parents ever at anything,” Addison repeated with a smile, “Even when we get married,” she echoed Meredith’s earlier words, raising an eyebrow and putting an extra emphasis on the ‘when’. 

“Don’t,” Meredith shook her head as she blushed and ducked her head to avoid Addison’s eyes. 

“Okay,” Addison shrugged, reaching a finger under Meredith’s chin and turning her head so they faced each other, “I love you,” she whispered. 

“I love you too,” Meredith smiled, her hands reaching up and cupping her face and wiping a few tears away gently. 

“Come here,” Addison whispered, reaching a hand so it wrapped around the back of Meredith’s neck and threaded into her hair and pulled her into a kiss. Relief flooded through her veins as she finally felt herself relax a lot more. 

Meredith pulled away after a few seconds, “Do you want me to kick them out before you get home?”. 

“Are you sure?”. 

“It’s easier I do it than you,” Meredith shrugged like it was simple. 

“Okay,” Addison smiled, “I need to talk to a patient with Alex,”. 

“I’ll grab Cristina to give me a lift home. I’m sure she will enjoy the visual of me yelling at old people and then I’ll see you there later?” Meredith asked. 

“Yeah,” Addison smiled, standing up and leaning down to press another kiss to her lips, “I love you”. 

“I love you too,” Meredith smiled, standing up as she got a page. She checked and sighed, “ER,”. 

“Have fun,” Addison smiled, pressing a kiss to her cheek. 

“Text me if you need me,” Meredith added just before she walked out of the stairwell. Addison took a deep breath and wiped her face before she followed her out, turning the other way and heading into the bathroom to sort herself out before she went to find Alex to sort out with their patient. 

-

“Let me get this straight,” Cristina smiled as she drove the car onto Meredith’s driveway, “You are planning to yell at some old people,”. 

“Yep,” Meredith laughed, “I am about to yell at some old people who also just so happen to be my girlfriend’s parents,”. 

“God, You’re amazing sometimes,” Cristina laughed as they got out of the car and walked up the driveway to the door. 

“I know,” Meredith smiled, raising an eyebrow before she unlocked the door and pushed her way in. They were sitting in the living room like they hadn’t both destroyed their daughter earlier on today. 

“Addison?” The Captain called out. 

“No,” Meredith walked into the living room having taken off her coat. 

“Where’s Addison?” Bizzy asked, taking a sip of her drink. 

“Surgery or somewhere else, I’m not quite sure and I don’t entirely care as long as she’s not here for the next few hours because you people are leaving. You need to leave this house and just go home,” Meredith firmness surprised even her. Susan, Bizzy and The Captain all looked at her in shock. 

“You have no right to interfere in this,” Bizzy shrugged calmly. 

“No,” Meredith didn’t shout but she put force behind her words, “I have a right to interfere because I love Addison and I’m seeing what you people are doing to her and I’m not going to let you do it anymore. I don’t know where Addison is because I just know she’s avoiding this place until you people are gone because she cannot bear to deal with you for another second,”. 

The Captain and Bizzy had the audacity to look shocked and surprised like they hadn’t both seen Addison earlier on. “Meredith,” Susan leaned forward, “I haven’t heard much about you at all. Where did you study?”. 

“Addison’s told me everything,” Meredith looked between the three of them, “Or at least enough that I know what’s going on and I know enough to know that her issue isn’t with you, it’s with those two. Don’t try and change the subject,”. 

“I know it’s about them. It’s their family and I’m sure you love Addison but so do I and so do they, they aren’t just going to run out because Addison is upset. I will not let this destroy them,” Susan was calm. Meredith thought if it were a different situation she might like her but right now she was pissed at her because she didn’t need to speak for The Captain and Bizzy, surely they could say that themselves if they really believed it. 

“I do love Addison and I have been living with her for almost a year and I haven’t heard about you calling or getting in touch even once, neither of you. My father, an alcoholic who walked out on us when I was five has checked in with me more than that. Addison is my family and I know her better, right now, so I’m not asking you to get out. I am telling you to go upstairs, pack your bags and get out of our house!” Meredith's firmness was shocking even to her, “If Addison wants to make amends that’s up to her but you need to stop pushing her,” she added more calmly.

“Meredith-” The Captain tried to debate it. 

“No!” Meredith’s voice raised for the first time, she lowered before she went on, “This is not a negotiation. If you care about Addison at all you would just leave,”. The three adults fell quiet as Meredith stared them down. 

“I think we should go,” The Captain suggested to Bizzy, “Susan, can you call the jet?”. 

“It won’t be able to get in till tomorrow,” Susan replied as she pulled out her phone. 

“The Archfield is the best hotel in the city, I’m sure they’ll have rooms there,” Meredith shrugged. 

“I’ll go and start to pack,” Bizzy stood up and breezed passed Meredith on her way upstairs. Meredith pulled out her phone with a sigh of relief. 

**Meredith:** They’re leaving now. I’ll tell you when the coast is clear. I think they are staying the night at the Archfield before they leave by the jet as soon as possible.

**Addison:** Thank you. I love you. 

Addison looked up from her phone with a smile and breathed a sigh of relief. She finally felt like she could breathe, she’d forgotten what that was like. 

“I called you down here for a consult not to check your phone,” Mark came up to Addison, handing her a chart. 

“Meredith kicked my parents out,” Addison smiled widely. 

“What?” Mark laughed, “As in Bizzy and The Captain?”. 

“Those exact ones,” Addison laughed. 

Mark stared at Addison in disbelief, “How?”. 

“I have no idea,” Addison smiled, shaking her head, “Where’s this patient anyway?” she turned around, looking into the ER, “It doesn’t seem like there’s a pregnancy,” Addison studied the chart. 

“I can explain that,” Mark smiled, leading Addison over to the patient. The patient had a phantom pregnancy, it was more of a case for psych but Addison didn’t mind helping. It killed the time as she waited for her parents to leave. She finished up about an hour or so after Meredith’s text. She heard the laughing from outside and smiled as she opened the door and walked in to find Meredith and Cristina on the couch, obviously quite drunk, watching surgical videos. 

“Your mother made some very good martinis,” Cristina slurred a little as she spoke. 

“Want one?” Meredith grabbed a glass and the cocktail shaker. 

“Go on,” Addison smiled, sitting down next to Meredith as her girlfriend poured her a glass and passed it to her. “What are we watching?”. 

“Esophagectomy,” Cristina smiled, “They are just finishing the taking part of the Oesophagus,”.

“I haven’t seen one of these in years. They are rare,” Addison tucked herself into Meredith's side as they kept on watching. This, tucked into Meredith’s side, this was the best idea of family. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i start school again tomorrow so i won't be posting quite as regularly. sorry.   
> avi :)


	4. finley

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meredith gets an impossibly hard case.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know nothing about medicine… a lot of this is made up but it seems feasible and things surprise people every day like no one predicted this (by this i mean this year, last year, lockdown, pandemic yk all that shit). Self-diagnosis google is overrun with COVID-19 advice so it’s hard to find info and stuff.

One year they’d been together when Meredith got that first page to the ER. She didn’t think anything of it at first, it was just another case. A kid in foster care in the ER because she fell down the stairs. It was just another case, it wasn’t surgical, just a head lac so Meredith just sewed her up and moved on, checked all the details and ticked all the boxes as she usually did. 

The second time she came in was two months later. She was in a new foster home that time, only three-years-old and from what Meredith found out when she talked to her, it was her third home that she could remember. She needed an appendectomy that time and Meredith had to do an investigation into bruises all over her body. She was moved to another care home, again. 

The third time she was rushed in an ambulance completely starved and dehydrated. She had complete liver failure, hypotension and she looked like she might lose a kidney. They stabilised her and took out her kidney and had to put her on the liver transplant list and leave her in the ICU with no one and nothing. No kid deserved that. 

“Hi,” Meredith swung her body around the door to the Chief’s office. 

“Hey,” her girlfriend smiled from behind the desk. Addison had taken over as Chief from Richard after he had gone into rehab in order to get control of his alcohol problem. It was the product of an intervention. No one at the hospital knew why the Chief had resigned, not even the Board, he just gave an excuse about needing a lighter workload and recommended Addison take the job. Addison had taken up the mantle with ease and the support of the hospital and the office was a perk. 

“I heard you took out a kidney,” Addison pushed her chair back as Meredith walked in and took a seat on her desk, spinning so her feet hung over the same side as Addison sat. 

“Yeah,” Meredith shrugged, leaning forward and pressing a kiss to Addison’s lips. “How was your day?” she asked as she pulled away. 

“Same old,” Addison smiled, “Delivered babies and did some paperwork. Tell me about some surgery because I’m a junkie and I haven’t done any in two days,” she tapped Meredith’s leg with a huge smile. 

Meredith took a deep breath, “This kid has been in twice already. First, just a head lac. Second, needed an appendectomy and her body was covered in bruises and this time she was severely starved and dehydrated. She’s going to need a liver transplant and she has hypotension and she has lost a kidney already,”. 

“I expected that to be far less depressing,” Addison sighed, “How old is she?”. 

“Three,” Meredith smiled, “Been in five foster homes, I checked her file,”. 

“Five?” Addison repeated in disbelief. 

“Yeah,” Meredith took a deep breath, “She’s high on the transplant list though. Should get a liver in a couple of weeks,”. 

Addison slid her chair closer to Meredith, “Any parents?”. 

“Just a social worker. She was abandoned at a fire station at a year and a half,” Meredith smiled weakly, shaking her head. This was one of the hardest cases she’d had in months. Addison smiled sympathetically and looked at the files on the other side of her desk and stood up with her hands on Meredith’s legs and leant forward and kissed her lightly. 

“Let’s get home,” she smiled. 

“Okay,” Meredith slipped off the desk and pressed another kiss to Addison’s lips, “Let’s go home,”. 

It was a difficult case over the next week or so. Meredith might have gotten a little attached. She was a cute kid and she never had anyone there, so she read an extra few books to her and snuck her a teddy. Meredith had a lot more time at the hospital as Addison spent more time there as Chief. She could have gone home but she didn’t mind spending her time there, she loved the hospital and she loved her life. 

“Hey,” it was a soft whisper at the door that woke Meredith up from her almost sleep. 

“Hi,” Meredith smiled, closing the book she had been reading. She’d fallen asleep. 

“You ready to go home and get some actual sleep?” Addison held out her hand to Meredith. 

Meredith smiled and stood up out of the chair and crossed the room to her girlfriend (girlfriend didn’t feel like the right term anymore but it wasn’t as though it could be anything else). “How was your day?” she asked as she tucked herself into her girlfriend’s side, resting her head on her shoulder as an arm wrapped around her. 

“I did an amazing surgery on a baby with biliary atresia, today. It was awesome,” she smiled widely, “Not the sick baby, the surgery,” Addison added hurriedly as they walked out of the ICU, “How’s the patient today?” she looked back at the room they had come from. 

“Not getting any better but we discovered a love of the Famous Five books today,” Meredith smiled, “And I had a hernia repair that went well,”.

“Solo?” Addison asked.

“Solo,” Meredith smiled brightly as Addison pressed a kiss to her forehead. 

“Proud of you,” she whispered. 

-

“What’s your patient’s name?” Addison asked later on that night as they laid in bed together halfway to falling asleep, “You never said,”. 

“Finley,” Meredith whispered with a smile, “She refuses to use her surname,”. They didn’t say anything else, Addison just placed a kiss on the top of her head and held her closer as they both fell into sleep. 

-

Meredith sprinted into the ICU. 911 page. Panic filled her veins as she slid into the room, there were no alarms sounding. “What’s going on?” she asked the very sheepish looking three-year-old in the bed.

“She won’t let me put her new IV in,” the newest intern complained. 

“He just keeps poking,” Finley pouted. 

“So you page me 911,” Meredith scolded him, pushing her intern out of the way and taking hold of the IV. “Go do some scut,” she told him and he just stood there like a fish out of water, “Now!” she warned him before turning to Finley and smiling. 

“How are you feeling today?” Meredith asked, discreetly slipping the IV into her arm so she barely noticed. 

“My tummy hurts,” Finley complained. 

“I know it probably does,” Meredith smiled sympathetically, “Can I check it out?” she asked and Finley just nodded, squeezing her eyes shut.

“I don’t like the scar,” she mumbled. 

“I know,” Meredith went over and shut the door before she lifted the gown to take a look at her stomach. It was purple all over. Crap. She could use an intern right about now. Don’t show the panic she reminded herself as she took a deep breath. “Can I touch your tummy? It may hurt a little,”. 

Finley hummed and nodded her answer and Meredith lightly pressed down, the whole abdomen was tender. “Okay,” Meredith pulled the gown down as Finley opened her eyes again, “I just need to go update some people and then I will be back,”. She walked out and straight to the nurses’ station. 

“I need a CT and blood work for Finley and page Bailey and Robbins,” she told the nurse closest, grabbing Finley’s chart and making a note. 

“Bailey and Robbins are both in emergency surgeries,” the nurse looked up for the computer. 

“What’s going on?” Addison’s familiar voice cut through her thoughts of who to page next. 

“Finley’s abdomen is bruised purple and tender. I think it may be an issue with the kidney site. I’ve ordered a CT and blood wo…” Meredith trailed off as Addison picked up the chart and shook her head. 

“Don’t bother. It’s a rare tissue infection, develops quickly. A reaction to meds. We need to get her to surgery now,” Addison looked over at Finley lying on the bed and Meredith followed her gaze and they both watched her turn pale and lurch forward and vomit. 

“Shit!” Meredith muttered, pulling on gloves and grabbing one of the pans and rushing in to help her. Addison followed her and pulled Finley’s hair back as Meredith rubbed her back. 

“Right now,” Addison whispered as they both looked at the bloody vomit.

“Bailey and Robbins are in surgery and Webber’s off. There’s no one to scrub in,” Meredith whispered as Finley sat back. She passed her some water absentmindedly. 

“I’ll do it,” Addison shrugged, “It’s better than my schedule of paperwork,”. 

“Okay,” Meredith pulled off the sick covered top blanket as she walked back out to the nurses' station. “Prep an OR. We are taking Finley to surgery,”. 

“OR 3 is ready,” the nurse smiled as a new bed was wheeled in. 

“Thank you,” Meredith smiled as nurses helped transfer Finley to a new bed, free of vomit.

Addison left most of the surgery to Meredith, mainly observing but without the liver function to filter the blood, the infection has spread fast and it was a difficult surgery. She was going to have to push up the list fast if she was going to have a chance of survival.  “What happens after this?” Meredith was thinking out loud as she cut out the infected tissue, “She goes back into care and doesn’t get taken care of properly and she ends up back here,” her frustration bled through in her words. 

Addison shook her head with a sigh of exasperation, “Unfortunately, that’s the care system. I’ve seen enough cases dealing with social workers, premature babies and drug addicts to know none of it ends well. No one wants to adopt the sick ones so they end up in the bad foster homes and group homes where they are neglected,”. 

“It just feels like what we’re doing is useless,” Meredith sighed. 

“At least she lives,” Addison shrugged, “I find knowing that helps,”. 

“But what kind of life? Trust me, grouping up in a world not made for children isn’t fun,”. 

“I know,” Addison looked up at Meredith softly, because she did know. They’d talked about it so much. Meredith grew up in hospitals, doing her homework in OR galleries, napping and sleeping in on-call rooms and seeing her mother in the five-minute breaks between surgeries. Daycare wasn’t something hospitals had caught onto yet. Her mother was one of the only women working at her level, they weren’t needed. 

She didn’t wake up after surgery. They had to put her in a medically induced coma with the stress of the surgery and the infection and her liver breaking down, it was the best medical decision with her on both kidney dialysis, to reduce the stress, and liver dialysis, her body was under too much pressure to be awake as well. 

When they finally got the transplant call it was three days into the coma. “Grey, You’re taking the lead,” Bailey told Meredith absentmindedly as the doctors gathered in the room. 

“On a pediatric liver transplant?” Meredith questioned, 

Bailey nodded as though it was obvious, “You’ve seen one?”. 

“In adults,” Meredith confirmed. 

“Then you’re doing one,” Bailey shrugged, “It’s the same but in miniature,”. 

“Are you sure about this, Bailey?” Arizona questioned. 

“Yes,” Bailey confirmed, “Let’s get her to surgery,”. 

As Meredith walked into the OR, she looked up to see Addison sitting in the gallery with Cristina next to her and Alex next to Cristina. She took a deep breath. She could do this. Meredith looked up and smiled at her friends before she walked up to the surgical field, Arizona going and standing on the other side as first assist. 

“Whenever you’re ready,” she smiled. 

Meredith took a deep breath and turned to the scrub nurse, Bokhee, “Ten blade,” she smiled, holding out her hand. 

“Ten blade,” Bokhee placed the scalpel in her hand and Meredith looked down at the patient, making the incision. 

-

Meredith breathed out in relief as she closed the last stitch, taking a step back out of the surgical field and taking her mask off and taking a drink of water. Successful surgery. “Well done, Grey,” Arizona smiled. 

“Thank you,” Meredith breathed out, “I’m going to brief the social worker,”. She turned toward the scrub room and started to scrub. She’d seen Cristina run off with a page as soon as the main part of the surgery had been over while Alex had to leave halfway through too with a page. Meanwhile, Addison had left for twenty minutes in the beginning but had returned quite quickly; it was Addison who pushed her way into the scrub room with a huge smile. 

“Lead on a pediatric liver transplant,” Addison smiled widely, leaning against the door. 

“Are you talking about what I just did?” Meredith teased proudly, finishing scrubbing and wiping her arms dry, throwing the towel in the bin. 

Addison smiled, shutting the door as she walked in, “I guess I am,” she shrugged, pulling Meredith closer and pressing a kiss to her lips. “I’m so proud of you,” she whispered against them as she pulled away before kissing her again. Their smiles wide and as their lips met. 

“I love you,” Meredith whispered as she pulled away. 

Addison smiled and whispered, “I love you too,”. There was a door slam and they jumped apart, Addison coughed, “So you should go tell the family, Doctor Grey,” she stumbled over her words as she held open the door for Meredith awkwardly.

“You’ve been dating for a long time. Everyone knows,” Arizona laughed.

“Yep,” Addison coughed, “I’ll see you later,” Addison turned to Meredith. 

“See you later,” Meredith smiled, pressing a kiss to her cheek and leaving to go talk to the social worker. She didn’t even look up as Meredith came over, keeping her focus on the work she was doing. 

“Miss Drake,” Meredith smiled to gain her attention. 

She glanced up at her quickly, “Is Finley okay?” she asked. 

“The surgery went well. She’s stable and her new liver seems to be doing well,” Meredith explained, sitting down in front of her, “There were no complications but I do need to talk to you about aiding with her recovery when she’s ready to go home. She’s going to need to stay away from certain food and come back for regular check-ups,”. 

“You are just going to need to write it all down and we can put it on file for her next foster parents,” she looked at Meredith clearly tired. 

“I’ll send it over,” Meredith smiled, standing up and walking away with a deep breath out to try and calm herself. She couldn’t believe this system. 

-

“What’s got you so upset?” Addison asked as Meredith walked into her office. She picked up on her emotions almost instantly. 

“I spoke to Finley’s social worker. I was going to go through follow-up and everything and she just told me to write it down and put it on file for her next foster parents like she hadn’t just had major organ transplant surgery,” Meredith complained, taking a seat in one of the chairs in front of Addison’s desk. 

“I’m sorry,” Addison smiled sympathetically, standing up, rounding the desk and pressing a kiss to her lips as she took a seat on the arm of Meredith’s chair. 

“How was your day?” Meredith asked. Ignoring the idea that had started to nag at the back of her mind. They’d talked about children. They’d actually looked into having children a few months ago but the combination of Addison’s infertility and Meredith's hostile uterus; it seemed impossible and then Addison had gotten the new job and it had fallen on the backburner and to the back of their minds. 

Addison smiled, “Well, I really enjoyed watching this very beautiful and talented woman do an amazing liver transplant,” she teased, leaning close to Meredith, “And then I delivered two very cute babies,” she added, leaning further away from her as she finished speaking. She studied Meredith’s face, she was clearly thinking about something else. “And then one of the babies died,” she tested and Meredith just nodded, “And then there was an explosion in the NICU and we lost all the babies and the whole ward disappeared into ash,”. Meredith just nodded again. “I then murdered Mark Sloan,” Addison could easily say anything and Meredith wouldn’t hear her.

“Mer?” Addison tapped her shoulder and Meredith was jolted from her thoughts and looked back at Addison. “What are you thinking about?” she asked gently. 

“Nothing much,” Meredith shrugged, “I need to stay overnight on-call,”. 

“That’s fine, so do I. One of the babies is at high risk and I have some paperwork,” Addison smiled, pressing a kiss to her cheek. Addison could tell Meredith was thinking about something but she knew she would tell her if and when she was ready. A pager went off and both Addison and Meredith instinctively reached for their own. 

“I have to go check on Finley,” Meredith smiled, looking at her pager screen, “She woke up,”. Addison’s page went off a second later. 

“ER 911,” she muttered and both of them rushed out of the room, going in opposite directions. 

-

“She’s high on heroin and in labour, about to give birth two months premature!” Alex shoved the chart into Addison’s hands as he set her up on the stirrups. 

“Did you page peds? We need an incubator and a-” Addison stopped for a second as she read the name on the top of the file. She’d read that name before in Finlay’s records. She shoved the thought aside as she told Alex to get an IV hooked up and get ready to start CPR. Ten centimetres already. They were going to need to get this baby out. She grabbed an ultrasound and had a look at the image. At least the baby wasn’t in breach.

“Miss Swallow, you need to tell me what drugs you took,” she turned to the mother screaming in front of them. She shook her head violently and Addison sucked in a deep breath. “Tell me what drugs we took or we will lose this baby,” she warned. The mother looked around her and down at her bump. 

“I’ll tell you if you let me go as soon as this baby is out of me,” she said it like the baby went nothing. They could all see her non-existent veins, her pale skin, her needle scars. 

“You sign a form waiving any follow-up treatment then, yes,” Alex answered for her. She knew how personal drug cases were for him but it was still the right information. 

“Heroin,” she managed to get out before the contractions started again. A nurse came running in with an incubator as Alex pushed the counter-acting drug and moved to Addison’s side. 

“I’m going to need you to push,” she told the mother. 

“No, it hurts,” she complained, shaking her head. 

“Push or your baby dies,” Alex shouted as a nurse took her hand and she leant forward. The baby came out easily. It wasn’t crying and it was already turning blue. She passed him to Alex and started to deliver the placenta. She didn’t want to think about what that kid’s future would be. A cry rang out through the room as Addison delivered the placenta. 

“Get him up to the NICU and start on a heroin withdrawal protocol,” Addison called out to Alex as she began to finish up on the mother. 

-

Meredith walked into the ICU to find a very disoriented and panicked Finley. “Hey,” Meredith tried to calm her, walking to the bedside. 

“What happened?” Finley asked, looking around. 

“You just had surgery and now you have a new liver which will keep you all healthy,” Meredith smiled, “We had to put you to sleep for a long time so you’re going to feel a little weird and you might be a little confused but that will pass. 

“Do I have a scar?” she asked innocently. 

“For now but it will fade,” Meredith smiled. 

“Do you promise?” Finlay asked in a small voice. Bailey’s voice telling her to never make a promise echo in her head but she knew this one would come true so she smiled. 

“I promise,” she whispered with a wink. 

“I’m tired,” Finlay yawned, “Can you read for me?”. 

“Yes. Why don’t you think of a book and I can check your incision site?” Meredith suggested, standing up from where she’d sat on the side of the bed. 

“Okay,” Finlay smiled as Meredith went to check it out.

-

“BPM 60. Starting compressions,” Alex called out as Addison ran into the NICU, “Push one of epi,”. Addison rushed to his side and took over bagging from the nurse. 

“Is there an airway?” she asked. 

“None of the tubes were small enough,” he cursed as the baby’s stats started to rise with the epi working, “I can’t believe what mother would do this. Just get an abortion if you don’t want the kid,”. 

“They can be hard to access,” Addison took the new smaller intubation tube from the nurse and stopped bagging to intubate him. “If pro-lie has done anything, they’ve made abortion hard to access,” she looked up at Alex, “We need an ultrasound, see what damage the drugs have done or if we are just dealing with withdrawal,”. 

-

“Where The Wild Things Are,” Finlay decided. The incision site looked good and healthy and Meredith pulled down her gown. 

“I’ll go find that book for you,” Meredith smiled, standing up, “I’ll be back in a minute,”. 

“Okay,” Finlay mumbled through a yawn. 

-

Addison looked at the ultrasound. “Organs are normal for a 32-week premature baby,” she announced with a smile. She turned to Alex, “Are you okay to work this case?”. 

Alex looked at Addison confused, “Why wouldn’t I be?”. Addison looked around for the room, no one was around or listening in. 

“We are dealing with a baby most likely addicted to heroin and I know you have a complicated history with drug and addicts so I’m asking you, not as your boss but as someone who cares about your wellbeing, are you okay to work this case?” Addison asked him discreetly. 

“I’ll be fine,” Alex smiled slightly aggressively in a way that was distinctly Alex. 

“Okay then,” Addison smiled, handing him the chart, “Run pediatric heroin withdrawal protocols then,”. She couldn’t believe that they were words that she could actually say. “I’m going to call a social worker. The mother left,”. 

-

Addison looked down at the mother’s file at least what information they had on her. No known address, no known phone number. Neither were ever even written down but there was a name and a medical history. Been in for overdoses and, now, two births. The first was recorded as having given birth to a girl called Finley. Addison cross-checked the records. It was the same baby girl. She shook her head as she picked up the phone and dialled the number for social services. 

-

Meredith slipped out the room as soon as she was sure Finley had fallen back asleep and went to find Addison. They needed to talk. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whatever you are thinking you might probably maybe be wrong.  
> i can't read ur mind tho...  
> so you might be wrong... i don't know  
>   
> avery :)


	5. elliot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i can't write summaries ngl...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i would like to state though i take all liberties with canon, i would now like to state that if anyone wants to know how to foster or adopt a child in the state of washington, i am now an expert

“I heard you were down here,” Meredith walked up next to Addison, handing her a coffee. She’d had time to make a stop on the way down from the ICU. 

“I love you,” Addison smiled, looking gratefully at the coffee as she took a sip. 

“Me or the coffee,” Meredith laughed, leaning back against the wall opposite the window that looked onto the NICU. 

“Both,” Addison smiled, looking up at Meredith and turning around and leaning against the railing in front of the window so she faced her girlfriend. 

“Back row, the third one on the right,” she looked over her shoulder at where Finley’s brother was lying. He was being weaned off heroin. His body couldn’t handle the immediate withdrawal so the IV was slowly reducing the amounts of the drug, mixed with Narcan to counteract some of the negative effects. It was a horrible protocol. 

“How many weeks?” Meredith asked, following Addison’s gaze. 

“32. Mom comes in high and already 10 centimetres dilated. Wouldn’t tell us what she took without the assurance she could abandon the baby. Heroin. Luckily, no other organ and internal complications. He’s Finley’s brother,” Addison took a sip of coffee and looked back at Meredith as she finished explaining. 

“How do you know?” Meredith asked, going to stand next to her. This complicated things a little.

“Mom gave us a name and we had medical records. She had Finley here three years ago. Blood types and everything between the three of them match-up. I can’t imagine them being fully biological siblings but when I called social services they had me run a DNA test on both of them to see if they are legally obligated to keep them together or not. They are fully biological siblings,” Addison shook her head. 

“What are his chances of survival?” Meredith asked. 

“He’ll pull through,” Addison shrugged, “He should anyway. The drug protocol has improved in recent years so he shouldn’t struggle on it,”. She looked over at Meredith standing next to her and wrapped an arm around the brunette, pulling her closer to her side. Meredith’s hand reached up and threaded her fingers with Addison’s hand now resting on her hip. 

“He’s going into the foster system with Finley then?” Meredith asked thoughtfully, almost absentmindedly. 

“Yeah,”. They fell silent, watching the baby in the incubator. Then Addison took Meredith’s hand and pulled her into the NICU, leaving their coffee outside as she passed her the pink gown. They went over to his incubator. Both of them were too tired to say much but they didn’t need to. The baby was crying as they walked in but his stats and health were normal. The crying was also normal in the withdrawal babies though. Meredith slipped her hand inside the incubator, touching his hand gently. He wasn’t small, he just had no fat on him. 

“I just can’t believe both of them have no one,” Meredith thought out loud as Addison leaned against the incubator on the other side, one hand inside adjusting his breathing tube so it wouldn’t be so uncomfortable. It was threaded through his nose and it was only there as a just in case. Lungs had a tendency to struggle under withdrawal. 

“I can’t believe someone would do this to a child,” Addison shook her head, checking his chart. He was doing okay but it was a known fact that NICU babies could turn quickly. 

“He doesn’t even have a name,” Meredith looked over at the empty label that just said Baby Boy. 

“I’m sure Alex will give him a nickname soon,” Addison smiled, “He always gives the baby a superhero or wrestler or boxer nickname. In his words, something badass,”. 

“So all the babies in here have nicknames,” Meredith looked around. 

“Yep,” Addison pointed to one of the cribs, “That’s Tyson and then there’s Foreman. I think they are both boxers,” she went around pointing as she called out the names, “Ali and then Stark, his dad loves Marvel and that one is Jack after an Incredibles character, her sister picked it out for her,”. 

“Don’t you have your own patients, Mer?” Alex challenged her as he walked in. 

“I do. I’m just bored and on-call and these are cute,” she smiled, “Checking on Foreman?” she teased as Alex walked over to one of the babies. 

“Reign isn’t a dude who wins a battle against cancer,” he shrugged as he worked. Meredith looked back at Addison with a smile as her pager went off. 

“Finley woke up again,” she took a calming deep breath, “They need me up there,”. 

Addison turned to Alex, “Karev, can you handle this here?”.

“I’ve got it,” Alex smiled as Addison followed Meredith out of the NICU, grabbing their coffees as they went. They didn’t need to run so it was a calm journey there, Meredith slipping her hand into Addison’s as they went. Meredith walked into Finley’s room ahead of Addison, she was crying. 

“Finley,” Meredith whispered softly as she sat on the edge of the bed, “Does it hurt anywhere?”. She shook her head and turned over to bury her face in the pillow. 

“What’s wrong?” Meredith asked gently, looking her up and down and glancing over at her monitor. No signs of physical problems. Finley shook her head again as Meredith took a hold of her hand gently.

“You don’t have to say,” Addison smiled, walking into the room a little more after she had checked the chart. Her blood pressure was a little higher than it should be. It was an indicator of a medical issue though, it was stress. 

Finley looked over at Addison and so did Meredith. “We just want to help you feel better,”. Finley looked over at the stack of books next to Addison for just a second but both Meredith and Addison noticed it. “Which one do you want?” Addison asked. 

“Tiger?” Finley requested in a small voice. 

“Got it,” Addison smiled, grabbing The Tiger Who Came to Tea book and passing it to Meredith. Meredith smiled gratefully and opened the book as Addison took a seat on a chair nearby. She calmed down and fell asleep after three different books. Addison had to take over after the second book, the reading turning Meredith’s voice a little hoarse which was probably due to the tiredness as well. 

They left as she fell asleep, Addison taking Meredith’s hand and leading her somewhere Meredith didn’t know. “Where are we going?” Meredith asked as they left the ICU. 

“I need to talk to you about something,” Addison turned down another hallway and pushed her way into a nearby on-call room and pulled Meredith in behind and locked the door. 

“We are not having sex, I’m too tired,” Meredith sat down on the bed, leaning against the wall. 

“Not about that,” Addison laughed, leaning against the wall, “We need to talk,”. 

“You said that,” Meredith leaned forward, trying to ignore the gut-wrenching panic. She knew it wasn’t bad but something inside her didn’t believe it out of instinctual fear. 

“Okay,” Addison took a deep breath, “I know we looked at biological and that didn’t work and then we both got distracted and didn’t think about it so I was thinking we could look into adoption and adopting Finley and her brother,”. Meredith smiled with relief as she picked up her head to look at Addison. 

“You didn’t have to make it sound like someone was going to die,” Meredith laughed, “Of course, I want to look into adoption with you especially to try and adopt Finley and her brother,”. 

“Really?” Addison smiled in disbelief, stepping closer to Meredith. Meredith reached out and reached for her hand to pull her even closer. 

“Yes,” Meredith reached up and pulled Addison closer so she had bent down and her face was level with Meredith’s. “Yes,” Meredith smiled again. 

“Are you sure?” Addison asked again, her breath ghosting over Meredith’s lips.

“Yes,” Meredith smiled again, threading her hands into the redhead’s hair and pulling her closer into a quick kiss. 

“I love you,” Addison smiled as she pulled away before pressing another kiss to her lips, it was then Meredith who pulled away. 

“I love you too,” she smiled before she kissed her again, more passionately this time and Meredith pulled her down so Addison straddled her lap and deepened the kiss. 

“I thought you said we weren’t having sex,” she teased as Meredith’s hand slipped under her scrub top.

“Shut up,” Meredith mumbled, pulling the top over Addison’s head with ease before Addison’s lips crashed onto hers again. 

-

“We need to get a domestic partnership, I think,” Addison looked at her computer as if willing it to come up with an answer. 

“Domestic partnership?” Meredith looked over her shoulder. They were back in her office and it was now a new day, though it was only two in the morning. Both of them were on-call and surviving on coffee. 

“I’m going to call a lawyer in the morning,” Addison shut down the page, “It’s depressing to see what rights we don’t have in what states when I can have someone else do it for us,”. 

“I agree,” Meredith spun Addison’s chair around so she faced her. 

“Doctor Montgomery?” a knock on the door caused Meredith to step back and spin Addison’s chair back around so it faced her desk, “I’m sorry to interrupt but there’s an emergency in OR 1 that needs your attention,”. 

“What happened?” Addison sighed, picking up her coffee thermos and quickly realising it’s empty. 

“I’ve got it,” Meredith smiled, taking it from her hands, “Go handle the crisis,”. 

“I love you,” Addison called over her shoulder, as she ran out of her office. 

“I love you too,” Meredith called after her with a smile. She went back on her mission, running downstairs with torturously empty coffee cups and filling them up in the Attendings’ lounge. They had the good coffee and no one was in there and Meredith wasn’t going to give up on the good stuff. She then left the thermos at the nurses’ station by the OR boards with a quick note for Addison. Meredith then went to take a very nice nap in an on-call room before the day started again. 

-

It was an easy day. She rounded on all her patients, including Finley, dealt with a few easy cases in the ER including scheduling a Whipple for the next day that she managed to let Bailey let her first assist. She’d seen so many videos of her mom doing it, she felt like she knew the procedure better than any other. She also did an emergency appendectomy and all before lunch. Not that lunch ever came. Meredith had a hand pulling her into Addison’s office before she could get there. 

“I called a lawyer and figured it out,” Addison smiled excitedly. She looked like she had gotten some sleep and showered since last night. Meredith hadn’t seen her on the surgical board so it made sense. 

“What do we need to do?” Meredith asked, taking a seat on the couch next to Addison. 

“We need to be at least twenty-one with sufficient income and have appropriate First Aid, CPR and blood-borne pathogens training,” Addison started with the easy part. 

Meredith smiled widely, “We have that,”. 

“We also need to have a licensing orientation and pre-service training and have a background clearance check from the FBI, a review from the social worker and submit TB tests from within the last year. Because we have all the medical stuff, the pre-service training should just take 24 hours in total and you can do it online,” Addison smiled.

“We can do that,” Meredith moved closer to Addison, swinging her legs onto her lap. 

“I know,” Addison wrapped an arm around her waist to hold her even closer.

“Okay,” Meredith sighed happily, “So, I guess this might actually be a thing,”. 

“Yeah,” Addison smiled, taking Meredith’s hands and pulling her closer, “Are you sure about this?”. 

Meredith took a second. Mainly because her head was all over the place with a thousand thoughts but for the first time in ages none of them were doubts about whether or not she wanted to do this. There were concerns about whether she would be a good mom and whether she’d turn into her mother but nothing that made her not want to do it. She wanted this. 

“I actually am,” she smiled, “Are you?”. 

“I actually am too,” Addison laughed, pulling Meredith into a hug, Meredith shut her eyes in the hug, holding Addison tight as she couldn’t stop smiling. “I love you,” Addison whispered into her ear before placing a kiss to the side of her head. 

“I love you too,” Meredith whispered back, moving out of the hug so she could bring Addison into a quick kiss. She tucked her hair behind her ears as she pulled away and just studied Addison’s face for a second. How did she get so lucky to have the woman whose lap she seemed to have found herself sitting on fall in love with her? 

“What?” Addison whispered as she pulled Meredith closer by the hips. 

“Just admiring beauty,” Meredith shrugged, leaning forward and pressing another quick kiss to her lips. 

Addison blushed a little but not much, instead, she smirked and cocked an eyebrow, “Comments like that will get you everywhere,” she teased with a laugh. 

“Oh really,” Meredith smiled, somehow bringing herself closer so their bodies were completely flush against each other and leaning in slowly so their faces were just inches apart. 

“Really,” Addison laughed, going to pull Meredith into a kiss when a pager went off. 

“Yours,” Meredith reached between them and pulled the pager out of her girlfriend’s pocket, passing it to Addison. 

“Social worker is here for Finley’s brother,” Addison looked up at Meredith, “Do you want to come with?”. 

“Yeah,” Meredith smiled, pressing a kiss to Addison’s lips before she stood up and held out her hand to Addison. Addison took it and stood up, letting Meredith lead her out of the office while she grabbed their coffee cups off the side, passing Meredith hers. 

The social worker was in a conference room near the reception. “I thought I’d bring Finley’s doctor with me too,” Addison explained as they took a seat opposite her, “Her brother’s other doctor is with him right now working on a controlled withdrawal from the drugs,”.

“It says here he has no other complications from the premature birth or anything,” the social worker, Emma, the name returned to Meredith. 

“No. He was born at thirty-two weeks so he mainly has missed on growing fat and the rest of him is mostly fully developed. He should just struggle from the drug withdrawal,” Addison explained. 

“Okay, so, how likely is it that he survives this?” she asked, making notes on a file. 

“Highly likely. I’ve seen a lot of patients like this and he’s in some of the best condition out of all of them so I would say there is a high possibility of survival,” Addison didn’t realise how nervous she was until she was rambling a little. She took a deep breath and composed herself. 

“How likely is it that he will end up with an on-going health condition?” she asked. 

“I don’t think there is much of a chance of it. He is obviously at a higher risk of stroke and a heart attack during the withdrawal however he doesn’t seem to show any signs of being at risk of any on-going health conditions going forward,” Addison explained carefully. 

“Okay,” she made more notes on her file, “I need you to assure me, he won’t die,” she looked up at Addison. “I’m not going to tell a three-year-old that she has a brother unless it is certain that that little boy is going to survive and he’s going to affect her fostering and she’s going to affect his fostering so I need to know he’s going to survive,”. 

“I’d-” Addison took a deep breath, “We’d actually like to talk to you about that,”. Her hand found Meredith’s under the desk and they began to explain together. 

-

“Hi Meredith,” the new social worker smiled as she sat down at the kitchen table. They’d passed all the other tests and all the other hurdles in an expedited process over the last two weeks. Finley was still recovering but so much better while her brother had been moved out of an incubator in order to just gain enough weight to be healthy. He was no longer in the NICU and no longer at risk. 

“Hi Anna,” Meredith smiled, taking a deep breath and trying desperately to calm her nerves. She didn’t have the best maternal figures in her life but she could do this.

“This is just going to be a conversation. Don’t panic too much,” Anna smiled, putting her notepad and pen away. “Okay, let’s start with your job. Have you always been a doctor?”. 

“Well, I got out of med school and then I became an intern, first-year resident, at Seattle Grace and now I’m a fourth, almost fifth, year resident,” Meredith smiled. 

“Do you plan to stay at Seattle Grace?”. 

“Those are my plans,” Meredith began to let herself relax a little, “I will definitely make it through my fifth-year but then everything depends on my boards. I need to pass them to become a surgeon. I love my job and I don’t plan on changing it anytime soon. I’m going to fight to stay. I can’t imagine not being a surgeon or a doctor,”.

“I’m meant to ask about your education level but I can imply a lot of it,” Anna smiled. 

“I went to college at Dartmouth before going to med school,”.

Anna took a deep breath, “What do you think about a child’s education?”. 

“Of course, I think going to college is the right thing that can help them get a job that supports them throughout life but I would never pressure a child into doing something they don’t want to do though. My mother tried to talk me out of going to med school, she thought I wasn’t good enough for it. I never want my kid to feel like that so I’ll support them and help them in every way,” it was just honesty that made Meredith’s words flow. 

She was asked about family, successes and failures in life, her and Addison’s relationship, experience with children, the neighbourhood and their friends as well as their work life. Everything and then the final question came. “What was your family life like?”. 

Meredith took a deep breath, “I haven’t had the best or any maternal or paternal figures in my life. My mother was absent and my father left us at a young age and my stepmother passed away within a few months of me knowing her so I’ve never had a parental figure and I don’t really know how to be good at this but Addie. Addison is made for this. Addison has been a mother without a baby, without a child for so long and she knows how to be a mother. I might know what to do but she does. Please, don’t take it away from her if I’m not good enough,”. 

Meredith looked down at her hands, fiddling with the bracelet Addison had given her for their one year anniversary, “Finley and her brother are amazing and I don’t know how but I love them already and they need, they deserve someone good enough and I know you judge that and I don’t know about me, I’m not sure about me but Addie. Addie is made for this,” Meredith smiled as she finished leaning forward in her chair. 

“Meredith,” Anna sighed, leaning forward, “Trust me, I’ve just listened to you talk for about an hour, unintentionally, about everything you can imagine doing wrong as a parent and how you are going to make sure you don’t hurt your kids by doing any of it and also about,” Anna checked her watch, “Twenty minutes ago, I listened to you talk your heart about everything Finley and her brother have been through and how amazing they are for about ten minutes straight. I think you are going to be fine,”. 

-

“If we get him, we get to name him,”. Meredith had her head resting on Addison’s shoulder and Addison’s arm wrapped around her and they looked at the array of babies, they were only really watching at one baby. 

“When,” Meredith whispered in response, “Have faith,”. 

“When,” Addison put extra emphasis on the word, pressing a kiss to the top of Meredith’s head, “Did you become the optimist?”. 

“When,” Meredith teased, mimicking Addison’s tone before she tilted her head and pressed a kiss to her lips, “You stopped doing it,”. 

Addison sighed as she focused on the baby that might be theirs, “I can’t believe they won’t let us tell Finley about him yet. She doesn’t even know we are working to foster them both,”. 

“As soon as Alex discharges him,” Meredith smiled, “But seriously the name,”. 

“I did have one idea,” Addison shrugged. 

“What?” Meredith looked up at her. 

“Elliot,” Addison smiled, her eyes holding Meredith’s gaze sincerely, “After your mother,”.

Meredith took a deep breath and looked over at Finley's brother lying in the crib. Elliot lying in the crib. It suited him. She looked back up at Addison. “I love it,” she smiled. 

“Really?” Addison smiled. 

“Yes,” Meredith confirmed, pressing a kiss to her lips. 

“You are in the middle of the hallway in the middle of the hospital please keep PDA to a minimum!” Mark’s annoying voice caused Meredith to pull away as they both turn to death-stare Mark. 

Addison glared at him as she pulled her arm away from around Meredith’s waist, “Don’t you have some breast implants to put in or something?”. 

“Actually, I am taking a break from the burns unit,” Mark deadpanned, “What are you two talking about?”. 

“I need to go check on Bailey’s Whipple patient,” Meredith whispered, walking off in the other direction. 

“You should do som-” Addison trailed off as she watched Lexie Grey putting her hair up as she came round the corner. “Little Grey!” she hissed and Mark shushed her, dragging her into a supply closet. 

“This brings back traumatic memories,” she complained, looking around the small room, “Also. You and Little Grey!”. 

“It’s not that big of a deal,” Mark whispered. 

“Little Grey!” Addison spoke at a normal volume, “She’s Little Grey,” Addison put extra emphasis on the ‘Little’. 

“Just don’t tell Meredith. Lexie’s doing that soon,” Mark hissed. 

“Wait! You’re not just sleeping with her?” Addison questioned with surprise.

“No, we’re dating,” Mark smiled, blushing a little. 

“Mark Sloan dating,” Addison smiled, “Don’t screw it up,” she added before she walked out, pushing open the door to the supply closet and leaving. 

-

“Meredith, why did you page me 911 to an on-call room?” Addison sprinted into the room to her girlfriend pacing up and down with her phone in her hand, spinning and fiddling with it. 

“Um,” Meredith turned to face her, “The social worker called,” her voice was shaking a little as Addison cut off her pacing, her arms on Meredith’s shoulders to force her to look her in the eye. 

“What did she say?” she asked calmly.

Meredith took a deep breath, “I don’t know. Voicemail asking us to call her back,”. 

“Well, let's call her back then,” Addison ran her hand down Meredith's arm to take a hold of her hand and pulled her down to sit on the edge of the bed next to her. 

“Okay,” Meredith breathed, passing Addison her phone, “You do it,”. 

Addison took the phone and unlocked it, going to Meredith’s contacts and scrolling down to Anna’s number and calling it. She picked up on the second ring. “Hi Anna,” Addison spoke in that voice she always used on the phone. 

“Hi Meredith,” came the voice through the phone. Addison held it between them next to both of their ears so they could both hear. 

“There’s both of us here,” Addison smiled. 

“Okay, that’s perfect. I’m on my way to the hospital right now. I just want to let you know that your foster care licence has been approved and you have also been approved to foster Finley and her brother, pending Finley’s approval. I’m going to talk to her when I get here and I am going to tell her about her brother. Doctor Karev contacted me saying he is ready for discharge. I’ll page you at the hospital if Finley approves,” they could hear her moving around in the background, “I have to go now so I can drive to the hospital,”. 

“Thank you,” Addison managed to rush in before she hung up. She dropped the phone on to the bed as she filled with relief. Meredith laughed in joy as she fell into Addison’s side and Addison wrapped her arms around her, joining her in the laughter and holding her close and pressing a kiss to the top of her head. 

“Did she just say that?” Meredith asked in disbelief. 

“Yeah, I think she did,” Addison smiled, bringing Meredith into a kiss before she pressed their foreheads together. 

“I love you,” Meredith whispered. 

Addison smiled softly and pressed another quick kiss to her lips, “I love you too,” she whispered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am sorry if the notes in the last chapter confused anyone but not really because that was my intention :)  
> i am mean :)


	6. storge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> their perfect little family

**storge** (ˈstɔːɡɪ) 

  1. natural or instinctual affection, as of a parent for a child. familial love.



-

Addison picked up Elliot out of the social worker’s arms with a smile, holding him close with a hand splayed across his back and a hand supporting him underneath and placed a kiss to the side of his head gently. His cries silenced as Addison paced up and down outside the post-op recovery corridor. The social worker was inside the room talking to Finley. She rubbed his back gently to keep him calm and looked over at Meredith sitting opposite, offering her a soft smile. 

“It’s going to be okay,” she whispered, it wasn’t directed at either Elliot or Meredith, maybe it was directed at herself but she found herself whispering it again. 

“Doctor Montgomery?” Izzie ran into the corridor. 

“Not today,” Cristina came walking up behind her, “Go and get Robbin,!” she pushed Izzie out of the way and went and sat down next to Meredith. “What are we thinking, right now?” she asked. Addison couldn’t hear how Meredith replied because she had stopped moving and Elliot had started to cry again. She started to move again, up and down as she waited for the social worker. 

“Meredith. Addison,” Anna poked her head around the door to the patient room, Finley’s room. 

“Yeah,” Meredith stood up as Addison spun to face her. 

“It’s a yes,” she smiled, “You can take them home,”. 

Addison smiled, holding Elliot close as Meredith came up behind her and wrapped an arm around her waist, pressing a kiss to the top of Elliot’s head. “Really?” Meredith asked as Addison adjusted the weight of Elliot so she could thread her fingers in with the hand Meredith had on her waist. 

“Yeah,” Anna smiled, “She wants to meet her brother, by the way,”. She moved to the side and pushed the door so Meredith and Addison could walk in. Addison followed Meredith in, slipping her hand out of Meredith’s so she could adjust Elliot, ready to hand over to Finley in case she wanted to hold him. 

“Hi,” Meredith smiled, taking a seat on the side of the bed. Addison took a seat on the other side of the bed with a smile as she echoed what Meredith said. 

“Are you really going to foster me?” Finley asked.

“Yeah,” Addison smiled, “We are going to foster you,”. 

Finley looked over at Meredith who nodded her agreement with Addison’s words. “For how long?” Finley asked.

“How ever long you want,” Meredith responded with a smile.

Finley looked between them, “So I could live with you forever?”.

“If you want,” Addison smiled, “We just want you to be happy,”. 

“So you read bedtime stories to me every night even when I’m out of the hospital?” Finley asked with a huge smile. 

“Every night,” Meredith promised sincerely. 

Finley looked over at Addison, more specifically the baby in her arms, “Is that my brother?”. 

“Yeah, it is. Do you want to hold him?” Addison offered. 

“Won’t I hurt him?” Finley asked innocently. 

“You just need to support his head and you’ll be fine,” Addison smiled, “You just need to support his head,”. 

“Okay,” Finley held out her hands and Addison lifted the baby into them, helping her hold her brother correctly with gentle whispered instructions. Finley cradled him gently, looking down at him. He was awake but calm. “He came out of my mom’s tummy like I did?” she asked, looking up at the adults in the room. 

“Yeah,” the social worker announced from the end of the room. 

“Does he have a name?”. Anna’s eyes looked at Meredith and Addison. Addison turned to look to Anna. ‘You name him’ she mouthed. 

“Elliot,” Addison smiled, turning back to look at Finley. “His name is Elliot,”. 

“I like it,” Finley smiled, looking down at her brother softly. Elliot wiggled in her arms and Finley shifted uncomfortably, “He’s heavy,” she mumbled. 

“I can take him,” Meredith offered, holding out her arms for the baby. Finley nodded as Meredith lifted him out of her arms and into her own, cradling him close and rocking him gently as she kept her attention on Finley. 

“You know we do need to ask you one question though,” Addison smiled. 

“What?” Finley asked. 

“Well, what colour do you want your bedroom?” Addison asked with a smile over to Meredith. It had been a subject of contention over the last week in their slow and cautious planning of what might be their house redesign. 

“I get my own room?” Finley questioned. 

“Yeah,” Meredith smiled, “A room all to yourself,”. 

“And I get to decide wall colour?” Finley’s eyes widened in excitement. 

“Yep,” Addison smiled. 

Finley thought for a second, “Any colour?” she clarified excitedly, sitting up in her bed more. 

“Any colour,” Addison confirmed, trying desperately not to think about the fact the colours might clash with the other colours in the house. 

Finley thought quite intensely, “Can I have it purple but light purple?” she asked cautiously as though her opinion hadn’t been considered much before. Addison just wanted to hold her close and protect her from the world again. 

“If that’s the colour you want,” Meredith smiled, “We can pick out some paint colours at some point and paint it together,”. 

Finley looked at Meredith seriously, “When can I leave the hospital?” she asked hopefully. 

“Doctor Robbins and Doctor Bailey make that decision,” Meredith smiled, taking Finley’s hand and squeezing it lightly as a pager went off loudly and then another and then they could hear all the pagers going off down the hall. 

“What’s that?” Finley asked as both of them looked down at the pagers. 

“Multiple MVCs in the pit,” Addison mouthed over at Meredith. Meredith nodded. “It’s my pager,” Addison explained and lifted the pager off her doctor’s coat with ease so she could pass it to Finley, “The hospital uses it to contact us when they need our help,”. 

Finley studied the pager, turning it over in her hands as it beeped again. She looked at the screen. “M V C,” she sounded out phonetically, “9 1 1,” she spoke slowly. Addison reached forward and turned the pager off as the door opened. 

“Finley, you’re out of here today,” Robbins smiled as she walked in.

-

They talked for a while before Addison and Meredith were both called into extremely emergent surgeries and Anna had to take Elliot and Finley to process paperwork and to pick up their things, mainly Finley’s things. Anna said that she would call them before she came and dropped them off at their house. They were going to get them and Meredith could barely focus on that fact as she dealt with the messed up internal organs of an MVC victim while Addison dealt with a pregnancy in the OR next door. 

“I thought you would be with Addison at home right now,” Alex commented as he helped her. 

“I’m meant to be,” Meredith quipped back, a little frustrated as she dealt with a very stubborn bladder, insistent it didn’t want to be repaired. "However, MVCs can be annoying,”. 

“It’s surgery,” Alex grunted, “I don’t care as long as it’s surgery,”. He fixed the final issue in the colon and moved on to help Meredith with the bladder. “Are you nervous?” he asked more gently. 

“Of course, I’m nervous. I have my mother and my father as an example. What kind of parent am I going to be?” Meredith sighed, finally getting a suture to hold. 

Alex took a deep breath and looked up at Meredith, “I had the misfortune of meeting you mother and I can tell you the only way that you are like her is in your surgical talent,”. 

Meredith laughed lightly, looking down at the body, “You know if you keep talking like this everyone’s going to find out you are a secret softie,”. 

“Shut up!” he complained but he didn’t sound annoyed, just speaking Alex language for ‘I don’t really care too much’. 

They finished up quite quickly and Meredith walked out of the scrub room and straight into Addison walking out of the scrub room opposite. “Hey,” Addison smiled softly through a small yawn. 

“Hi,” Meredith reached for her hand as they turned to walk through the hallways. 

“Let’s go home,” Addison took a hold of her hand, lacing their fingers together and rubbing her thumb gently over the back of Meredith’s hand. 

“Yeah,” Meredith smiled softly and let Addison lead her out of the hospital with ease. 

-

“Should I order pizza?” Addison asked as they got in the car, Meredith in the driver’s seat and Addison in the passenger, pulling out her phone. 

“Yes,” Meredith smiled as she started the car and then stopped and turned to face Addison. Shit. She looked in the back of the car. “We forgot to get car seats,”.

“Crap,” Addison whispered, her head falling against the back of the seat, “I’ll run out and grab some in the morning,”. 

“We have everything else, don’t we?” Meredith turned to Addison in a panic. Mentally running through the list. 

“We have a crib and a bed and food that kids like and books and some teddies and just in case clothes and bottles and everything from when we went panic shopping a couple of days ago. Just because we forgot anything that lets us leave the house, we’ll be fine. Let’s just not leave the house,” Addison panicked more and more as she spoke, “We forgot a buggy,” she whispered with panic.

Meredith let her head fall into the steering wheel, “We aren’t both meant to be panicking,” she mumbled, “One at a time,”. 

“Well, it’s my turn then,” Addison was typing away on her phone, “Okay, google doesn’t help in suggesting which buggy is best,” she muttered. 

“Since when was it your turn,” Meredith moved a little so she could face her girlfriend, “You got to freak out before we came to work today,”.

“That was barely five minutes. You had the freak out when we got the call earlier,” Addison put her phone down and faced Meredith. 

“That was like thirty seconds,” Meredith fired back.

“911 to the on-call room,” Addison challenged her.

“Rock, paper, scissors,” Meredith suggested, knowing she probably wouldn’t win. 

“You want to play rock, paper, scissors over who gets to panic?” Addison laughed. 

“Are you scared you’re going to lose?” Meredith challenged her and Addison gasped, holding out her hand in a fist, ready to play. 

“Fine,” she muttered and Meredith smiled victoriously holding out her own hand. 

“Rock, paper, scissors, shoot,” Meredith called out and Addison revealed a rock at the same time as Meredith revealed scissors. 

“Dammit,” she cursed, “Best of three,”. 

“I won fair and square. I get to freak out,” Addison paused for a second before turning back to Meredith. 

“I’m not actually panicking anymore,” she whispered in a small voice, pressing her lips together as they curled up in a smile. 

“Me neither,” Meredith confessed, a laugh bubbling out of her. Addison fell into laughter a second after, shaking her head. 

“I’ll order pizza,” Addison picked up her phone as their laughter died down. 

“I’ll drive us home,” Meredith smiled, moving so she was sitting properly again before turning her head so she faced Addison. “I love you,” she smiled. 

Addison looked up from her phone and smiled softly, “I love you too,”. She reached a hand up to Meredith’s cheek and Meredith leaned over to meet Addison’s lips in a gentle kiss. 

-

“Pizza should be here in ten minutes,” Addison told her as they slipped their shoes and coats off in the hallway. 

“Okay,” Meredith yawned, walking through the hallway almost robotically and going upstairs to change, “Should I grab you a change of clothes?” she called over her shoulder as she ran up. 

“Just something comfortable,” Addison called up the stairs as she walked through to the kitchen to grab a glass of water for both her and Meredith. 

“You’re out of hoodies!” Meredith yelled down the stairs. 

“No,” Addison sighed, walking to the bottom of the stairs after leaving the glasses of water on the table, “You stole my hoodies!” she laughed, walking up the stairs. 

“I did not,” Meredith walked out of the bedroom wearing Addison’s Yale hoodie, “You can wear this one. It doesn’t smell like you anymore,” she handed Addison her Columbia hoodie.

“Thank you for letting me wear my own hoodie,” Addison smiled, taking it and going into their bedroom to grab a pair of jeans to change into with it while Meredith ran downstairs as the doorbell rang. 

“Pizza’s here,” came the shout as she heard the door open and some words exchanged before it was shut again and she came downstairs with Meredith in the kitchen with the pizza boxes but she was stopped as she saw who was standing outside their front door about to ring the doorbell. 

“Mer,” she called, running to the door and opening it. “Hi,” she smiled, looking at Anna holding Elliot in her arms and holding Finley’s hand which Finley dropped as she looked up at Addison who stepped aside. 

“I got out of hospital!” Finley smiled excitedly. 

“I can see that,” Addison laughed as she felt Meredith walk up behind her. 

Finley looked behind her at Meredith, “Hi,” Meredith smiled as Addison lifted Elliot out of Anna’s arms and into her own, whispering things to him and smoothing down his jumpsuit before she placed a kiss to the top of his head. She looked back around at Meredith’s laugh to see her holding Finley in her arms, rubbing a hand across her back.

“Hi Finley,” Addison smiled, turning to face her. 

“Hi,” Finley smiled brightly as Addison moved towards them, adjusting Elliot’s weight and wrapping an arm around them, pressing a kiss to Finley’s temple. 

“Is this really where you live?” Finley turned to look at Addison. 

“Yes,” Addison smiled, stepping away from Meredith and Finley so Meredith could set Finley down and take a hold of her hand.

“I grew up in this house,” Meredith smiled brightly. It was one of the first times Addison had seen Meredith talk about her childhood with a smile like that. Addison smiled at her girlfriend softly before she looked over at Anna. 

“Finley’s things and some things from the hospital for both of them including instructions on how to take care of them post-op,” she held out a bag to Addison. 

Addison walked over and took it with a smile, “Thank you,” she said sincerely, pressing a kiss to Elliot’s forehead again. She had to fight back tears of happiness as she held him close. Addison took a deep breath before turning to Meredith. 

“Should we do a tour?” she suggested, looking directly at Finley. 

“I’ll leave you to it. You have my number,” Anna smiled. 

“Thank you,” Meredith called over to her. 

“You’re going to be amazing parents,” Anna smiled before she stepped out pulling the door shut. 

Finley smiled excitedly, “Tour!”. 

“Tour!” Meredith laughed as Addison took a hold of her other hand and they led her on a tour through the house. The den, the kitchen, the dining room and study before upstairs to their room before they went into Finley’s room. 

“This is all mine? All to myself?” she walked in ahead of them before she spun around and faced them. 

“All yours,” Addison smiled widely, her hand finding Meredith’s and lacing their fingers together, “We can paint it purple soon,” she laughed as Finley jumped onto the bed.

Meredith laughed too before she ran forward a little to stop her jumping so much, “You still have to be quite careful,” she lifted her off the bed, “Have you eaten dinner?”. 

“No,” Finley shook her head. 

“Do you like pizza?” Addison asked, walking in and lifting Finley’s bag off her back and placing atop a chest of drawers. It was small and didn’t have much in. 

Finley looked over at the bag, uncertain, shifting a little. “We can unpack the bag first,” Meredith offered and Finley swallowed with uncertainty. 

“Or have pizza, your choice?” Meredith smiled. 

“Pizza,” Finley decided with a smile. 

“To the kitchen then,” Addison offered her hand out and Finley took it again as Addison handed Elliot to Meredith. She smiled, lifting him up and pressing a kiss to his forehead before she held him close to her chest. Addison smiled as she watched them before she turned with a smile to Finley and let the girl lead the way down the stairs as she told Addison about a tv programme she had watched just before she left the hospital.

Addison didn’t understand most of what she was saying as she lifted her onto the booster seat on the chair so she could reach the table. She reached over and opened the pizza boxes so Finley could get to the pizza. “I wish I could watch all the time,” Finley finished speaking as Addison placed a plate down in front of her 

“We have a TV,” she smiled, “And there are movies like that one,”. 

“More?!” Finley asked in complete disbelief.

“More what?” Meredith asked, walking in as she rocked Elliot carefully. He was crying a little. 

“Disney films,” Addison smiled, keeping her eyes on Finley as she walked back through the kitchen to get a bottle and make up some formula. 

“Funny green man and the silly grey horse!” Finley smiled. She hadn’t touched the pizza. 

“You can have as much pizza as you want,” Addison told her, “And I think there are three in total,”. Finley took a slice of pizza and Addison smiled as she took a bite before she dropped it and looked at her fingers. She mumbled something under her breath as she counted on her fingers. 

“That’s as much as me!” Finley smiled proudly. 

“Shrek?” Meredith asked, reaching into the pizza box and taking a piece.

“Yep,” Addison put a bottle in the microwave to heat up. 

“Can we watch them?” Finley asked. 

Meredith spun around to face Finley, “As soon as we get a hold of the DVDs,” she promised before she grabbed a blanket and laid it on her shoulder before she adjusted Elliot so he rested his head there too. Meredith rubbing a gentle hand across his back as he calmed. 

-

“Another one?” Finley asked hopefully. This was going to send Addison to sleep. She yawned a little and grabbed another book off the stack. 

“Last one,” Meredith warned, opening the book as Finley pouted. 

“There will be more nights and more books,” Addison assured her, pressing a kiss to her forehead. 

“Promise?” Finley whispered. 

“I promise,” Addison smiled sincerely.

“Okay,” Meredith took a deep breath, opening the book, “The Enormous Crocodile by Roald Dahl,”.

Addison smiled as they left Finleys’ room, leaving the door just a little bit open. Meredith’s hand almost instinctively found Addison’s as they walked the short journey back to their bedroom. Meredith yawned and her head fell to Addison’s shoulder. Addison turned the baby monitor over in her hands, they’d left one in Finley’s room just in case. Meredith held the one they’d left with Elliot in their room. They had taken a Sharpie and marked each of the baby monitor pairs so they knew which was for which. 

Meredith yawned again and Addison found herself letting out a yawn too as she pushed open the door to their bedroom. They moved around the room silently getting ready for bed, being careful not to wake Elliot. Meredith turned the Elliot baby monitors off while Addison placed the Finley baby monitor on her bedside table. They got into bed and instantly slotted against each other. 

Meredith rested her head against Addison’s shoulder and Addison wrapped her arms around her holding her close while Meredith wrapped her arms around Addison. 

“I love you,” Meredith whispered after a small silence. Everything unsaid in those three words. Their happiness, their concerns, their worries, their excitement were all packaged up in those three words as tiredness destroyed their ability to say anything else. 

“I love you too,” Addison whispered, echoing everything Meredith wasn’t saying in her four words. She pressed a kiss to the top of her girlfriend’s head and let herself slip into sleep. 

Addison didn’t know why she woke up when she woke up. Meredith was still in her arms, and the door had been opened and Finley was standing there. She was a light sleeper, it must have been it. She pressed a kiss to Meredith’s forehead and shuffled out of her arms to go to the girl standing in the doorway. 

“Hey, Finley,” she whispered, crouching down in front of her. She had no idea what time it was. 

“Couldn’t sleep,” Finley mumbled through a yawn, “Sorry,”. 

“Don’t apologise,” Addison smiled, rubbing a hand across her arm, “It’s okay. Do you know why?”. 

“Not like alone,” Finley yawned again. 

“Do you want to sleep in here?” Addison asked and she found herself yawning with Finley. Finley nodded silently, rubbing her eyes. “Come on, then,” Addison smiled, picking her up into her arms. Finley wrapped her arms around Addison’s neck and rested her head on her shoulder, yawning again. Addison rubbed a hand across her back and shut the bedroom door and walked back over to their bed. 

Finley had fallen asleep by the time she got to the edge of the bed in just two seconds. Addison smiled, laying her down next to Meredith who she curled up against. Meredith reached out an arm and wrapped an arm around Finley, her other arm reaching out for Addison as she smiled softly. Addison smiled with a sigh, getting back into bed and pulling the covers up over the three of them, pressing a kiss to Meredith’s hand and they all snuggled close together. 

Addison was woken at a decent hour in a much better way. Meredith pressing a kiss to her cheek. She looked over at her girlfriend and she was looking at something else. Finley in between them. Addison looked down and her heart swelled. She had a fist clinging onto Meredith’s Dartmouth t-shirt and a thumb in her mouth. She looked so peaceful. Addison looked back up at Meredith and met her eyes. They smiled softly at each other before they both turned their heads the other way, woken by a cry from the crib. 

“I’ve got it,” Addison whispered, getting out of bed and going over to the crib. Meredith just looked back at Finley. She hadn’t woken up so Meredith just pulled her closer into her arms. Addison went into the bathroom to change his diaper before she moved downstairs to make breakfast. She ended up putting Elliot in a sling while she made up his bottle. 

“Morning,” Meredith came downstairs as Addison the bottle started to cool. 

“Morning, honey,” Addison smiled, she had Finley in her arms, resting on her hip. Finley’s head was resting on her shoulder, she was half-asleep. “Morning, Finley,” she added and Finley looked up and smiled at her for a second. 

Meredith put Finley down and she leaned against her leg, rubbing her eyes with a yawn before Meredith lifted her back up onto the booster seated chair. “What do you like for breakfast?” she asked and Finley shrugged. 

“Do you like orange juice?” Addison asked and Finley nodded enthusiastically. She reached behind her into the fridge and passed Meredith the juice while Meredith grabbed a few glasses, one of them smaller and plastic, from a nearby cabinet. She poured a glass at each of the spaces at the table. Finley picked hers up with both hands and smiled as she took a drink. 

“Cereal?” Addison asked and Finley nodded again. “We have Lucky Charms, Cheerios, Rice Krispies and Raisin Bran,” she looked in the cupboard, putting each of them out on the counter so she could see. 

Finley thought for a second, studying the boxes while Meredith got bowls and spoons out. “That one,” Finley eventually decided, pointing at the Cheerios. 

“Got it,” Meredith smiled, taking the Cheerios and the Raisin Bran off the counter and taking them over to the table. 

-

Meredith and Finley watched a movie later on while Addison went shopping for the thing they had forgotten. It didn’t take her long. She was back partway through Shrek 2 where she could join them snuggling up on the couch with Meredith as Finley decided to crawl into her lap as they finished watching the movie.

They spent the next few days getting Finley and Elliot settled in and getting into their new routine, now with children. Finley got into the habit of sleeping in their bed and they didn’t have the heart to stop her. She needed sleep, she was still recovering. They went out and bought paint on day three and the same day they transformed Finley’s room into a beautiful lavender purple. 

On day four, they had to go back to work and enrol Finley in pre-school. That was an easy job, Addison knew quite a few of the preschool principals in the local area and she had enrolled her in about five minutes. Finley was excited for school. She hadn’t been able to go before, and they couldn’t get to school fast enough according to her huge pout from the back of the car as they drove to the school. 

The four of them walked in as a family, that was still a weird thought. Finley said goodbye quickly before running in and it was a quick chat with the teacher before they were making their way to the hospital. “Is it my nephew?” they ran into Lexie as soon as they got off the elevator. 

“Yeah,” Meredith smiled, she had Elliot in her arms while Addison carried the baby bag. 

“He’s so cute,” Lexie cooed, peering at the baby Meredith was cradling softly. 

“You can take him if you want,” Meredith smiled, letting Lexie take the little boy into her arms. 

“Hello. Hello,” Lexie cooed, talking in the voices everyone used to talk to babies. 

“You’re back!” it was Bailey who spoke, “How’s Finley?”. 

“Extremely excited for pre-school,” Addison smiled, half her focus still on Elliot and Lexie. 

“Aren’t you so cute,” Lexie had said, “Yes you are. Yes you are,” she whispered, rocking him gently. He had his hand wrapped around her little finger but his pacifier fell out and he started to cry. “Do you want to go back to one of your mommies?” Lexie cooed as she failed to get the pacifier back in. 

Addison jolted at her words. Mommies. She was a mommy. She was a mom. She was a mother. She only took a second and then she reacted, turning to face Lexie. “I’ve got him,” Addison smiled. Meredith was talking to Cristina and Alex. Elliot relaxed in her arms as Addison pulled out another pacifier from the baby bag to help calm him before he was handed around about half the doctors in the hospital before they even got a chance to take him to daycare.

Some smaller, some less small, seemingly insignificant moments were unforgettable for Addison. There was the time that Finley slept a full night in her own bed and Addison couldn’t be more proud as she went into her room the next morning and Finley jumped out of bed and into Addison’s arms. Addison wrapped her arms around her daughter and pressed a kiss to her temple. 

“Proud of you, sweetheart,” she whispered into her ear as Meredith walked up behind them and wrapped her arms around the both of them. 

“I’m so proud of you too,” Meredith pressed a kiss to Finley’s cheek. 

Then there were the times that Elliot started to smile and giggle and it became the most beautiful smile and sound in the world. Addison could've spent the whole day watching him the first time she saw it and she could have spent the whole time listening to him giggling the first time she heard it. Instead, she shouted for Meredith, and they both spent the day trying to make him laugh just so that they could hear him laugh. 

The next week he rolled over for the first time and almost destroyed Meredith when she couldn’t find him under the coffee table. It had them both laughing in the end as Meredith held him close to her chest in her panic while he squirmed, just wanting to be back down with his toys. 

“I thought I lost him,” Meredith glared at Addison, trying to stifle her laugh as she cradled his head and held him to her chest. 

“He’s three months old,” Addison laughed, pressing a kiss to her girlfriend’s cheek and then to the top of her son’s head. 

“Don’t underestimate our son,” Meredith warned as Finley came running in from the kitchen.

“I did a drawing!” she shouted, waving her piece of paper around. 

It was two weeks later the most monumental thing happened. Addison just put a bowl of cereal in front of her half-awake daughter as she would do every morning and every morning she would get the same response. Except for that day. That day was different. “Thank you, Momma,” was the response that day. 

Addison almost started to cry, she took a deep breath instead and leaned over and pressed a kiss to her daughter’s forehead, “No problem, sweetie,” she smiled before she looked up at her girlfriend across the room. 

Meredith smiled widely at her as Addison walked toward her with an even bigger smile. “You got a Momma,” she whispered with a laugh. 

“I know,” Addison laughed, wrapping her arms around her girlfriend and bringing her into a hug, pressing a kiss to her lips. 

“Ew, Mommies!” Finley exclaimed from the other side of the room. 

Addison pulled away with a laugh, staying in her girlfriend’s arms, “We got a Mommies,” she whispered. 

“We did,” Meredith smiled before they both turned to face their daughter. “Why can’t I kiss Momma?” Meredith teased, leaning forward on the counter. 

“It’s ew,” Finley pouted. 

“I have to disagree,” Addison teased, pressing a kiss to Meredith’s cheek before she went over to their son in the bouncy chair. He was starting to fuss so she picked him up while Meredith finished on the bottle. 

Meredith got her moment as they got to the hospital later on. Both of them on the Saturday shift by a cruel fate but Finley loved the daycare. Meredith dropped her off while Addison dropped off Elliot. “Bye Mommy,” she heard Finley shout to Meredith from the other side of the room as she ran inside. 

“You got a Mommy,” Addison smiled widely as she walked back over to Meredith. 

“I got a Mommy,” Meredith laughed, entwining their fingers as she took a hold of Addison’s hand. 

One of her favourite memories though would always be that time she got home from work when Elliot was five months old. She had a surgery run late and Meredith had taken Finley and Elliot home. It wasn’t that late, only five o’clock and Meredith was cooking. Something she had recently become okay at, as long as it only involved pasta. 

She walked in quietly, just in case Elliot was taking a nap and went straight through to the kitchen. Finley would normally hang out there if one of them was cooking but it was just Meredith in the kitchen. “Hi honey,” she smiled, going over and pressing a kiss to her wife’s cheek. Meredith turned her head and pressed a kiss to Addison’s lips. 

“Hi,” she smiled, “How’s Mrs Ruffin?” she asked. 

“Both mom and baby are stable, healthy and baby is still inside,” Addison recounted, leaning against the counter next to Meredith. “Is El napping?” she asked. 

“I think so. Finley went upstairs to see him,” Meredith smiled. 

“I’ll go check on them,” Addison stole another kiss from her girlfriend’s lips before she made a beeline for their bedroom. Addison stopped as she reached the doorway, Finley was sitting in front of the crib talking to Elliot who had sat himself up. It was something he’d just learned how to do. 

“The one with red hair is Momma and the one with yellow hair is Mommy because we have two Mommies instead of a Mommy and a Daddy and two Mommies is really a lot better because everyone knows a Mommy is better than a Daddy,” Finley was talking away and Addison couldn’t help but smile. “Anyway,” she shrugged like a little adult, “Mommy and Momma normally read books but I am,” Finley produced a book from next to her that Addison hadn’t noticed. It was one of the ones she had almost memorised because of how often she and Meredith read it. 

Addison crept away, back towards the stairs and leaned over the bannister and called quietly for her girlfriend. “What?” Meredith shrugged confused. 

“Just come here,” Addison whispered, pressing a finger to her lips. Meredith just gave her a look that said the word ‘fine’ and walked over to her. 

“What’s going on?” she asked at a begrudging whisper. 

“Just-” Addison took a hold of her hand and pulled her up the stairs to just outside their bedroom where she put a finger to her lips and pointed inside. Meredith peered in discreetly. 

“She’s reading to him?” Meredith whispered. 

“It’s We’re Going On A Bear Hunt,” Addison smiled, “I’m pretty sure she’s memorised it,”. 

“What did we do to get such a perfect child?” Meredith whispered as they both sat out of the eye line of both of their children and listened in. 

“I have no idea,” Addison whispered back, pressing a kiss to her girlfriend’s cheek. 

They waited for Finley to finish the book before they walked in. “Momma!” Finley exclaimed excitedly as soon as she saw Addison, standing up. 

“Hi sweetheart,” Addison laughed, lifting her up into a hug and holding her close, pressing a kiss to her temple.

“When did you get back?” she asked, her head buried in Addison’s shoulder. 

Addison smiled, “A few minutes ago,”. 

“Should come see me,” Finley mumbled. 

“I will next time,” she promised, rubbing a hand across her daughter’s back and holding her close. She looked over at Meredith who had lifted Elliot out of his cot and was holding him above her head, pressing a kiss to his forehead before she pulled him close to her chest. She looked up at Addison with an identical smile. 

“I love you,” she mouthed. 

“I love you too,” Addison mouthed in return. 

There were other amazing times. The time that Elliot said ‘Mama’ for the first time then the time that he said ‘Mommy’ though it sounded more like ‘Mo-mee’. Then the cutest time was when he said ‘Finley’ even though it sounded more like ‘Pin-y’. After that, there was the moment he started to walk. Meredith had been sitting on the floor, helping him stand up with two fingers and Finley had been sitting opposite, holding his favourite you while Addison held onto a camera. They were determined to get it on film. However, it didn’t happen then. 

It happened later when Addison and Meredith had managed to get Finley to bed after the longest day of work while Elliot remained more stubborn. Addison collapsed on the bed, lying down next to where Meredith was sitting, leaning forward and watching Elliot crawl along the bedroom floor. 

“Addie!” Meredith tapped her leg urgently.

“Sleeping,” Addison groaned, grabbing a pillow. 

“He’s walking!” Meredith grabbed the pillow out of Addison’s hands and pulled on her hand. 

“What!” Addison sat up urgently to see Elliot toddling along the floor toward his cot. 

“Oh my god, well done, El,” she laughed as a string of phrases came from Meredith as well as he turned to look at both of them and toddled back their way. 

“El, I’m so proud of you,” Meredith smiled as he walked back towards them. 

“You’re so amazing,” Addison smiled, picking him up as she tripped near her and lifting him into her arms and falling back onto the bed and holding him above her head as he laughed. Meredith fell down on the bed next to her as Addison held him back close to her chest. Meredith rolled over and pressed a kiss to the top of Elliot’s head. 

“I love you,” she whispered to their son. 

“Ma-mee,” he smiled happily. 

“Yeah,” Meredith laughed, pressing another kiss to the top of his head. 

“You’re so perfect,” Addison looked down at their son before she looked back up at her girlfriend, “Both of you,”. 

“I love you,” Meredith whispered. 

“I love you too,” Addison smiled, leaning forward and pressing a quick kiss to her girlfriend’s lips before she turned her head back to her son. “Are we going to bed now?” she asked, lifting him above her head. He babbled something incoherent. 

“Yeah, we are,” Meredith nodded, lifting their son out of Addison’s arms as she sat up off the bed. She pressed a kiss to Addison’s lips as she walked over to the crib. “Sleep,” she told her firmly. 

“Bossy,” Addison rolled her eyes over-dramatically, making Meredith laugh as she laid their son down in the crib.

After that, there were moments but too many to tell them all. Too many stories. Their little family was perfect and full of love. Addison could still tell the big stories though. About a month after Elliot started to walk, a big story definitely happened. They officially adopted their babies. It was an easy adoption with their birth mom having already signed abandonment papers for both of them. It was a Wednesday and they got to the court in plenty of time, Meredith held Elliot as they walked in while Finley held onto Addison’s hand. 

During the hearing, the judge asked a few questions. The hardest one was to state your full name and spell it. Meredith had an easy job. Addison Adrianne Forbes Montgomery wasn’t the easiest thing to spell out loud. They had had a long conversation beforehand and decided to put down Montgomery-Grey as the surname for Elliot and Finley. Addison was so nervous, she could barely breathe until the second the judge signed the certificate. It was a blur until that moment when she could finally take a deep breath and be in the moment. 

Finley wrapped her arms around Addison and she wrapped her arms around her, bringing her into a hug. “Are you my Mommies now?” she asked. 

“Always,” Addison whispered as Meredith’s arms wrapped around the both of them and pressed a kiss to the top of Finley’s head. Addison reached out an arm for a son, holding him close and pressing a kiss to the top of his head. 

Their perfect little family. Forever. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yo, the next chapter is already mostly written :)  
> avery
> 
> sorry, this took a while. school's been tough.


	7. eros

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The law changes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoy this final installment :)

**eros** (ˈ/ˈɪərɒs/ or /ˈɛrɒs/) 

  1. love or desire. passionate and romantic as between lovers.



-

It was when Elliot was two and a half and Finley was five that everything shifted. Their next big moment. Their next big story. So much had happened. They had their room back and everything was the way it was supposed to be. Their life was so perfect with so much love. 

Addison had relinquished the Chief job in a hope to spend more time with them. She recommended Owen to take her place while she moved back to Head of Neonatal Surgery and focused on her research. She was enjoying it a lot more but that might have been the benefit of the free time that she could also spend with her girlfriend. Her girlfriend who was now an amazingly talented General Surgery Attending. That was the issue, they still couldn’t get married. They had two kids. They had a family, and they weren’t married, and then everything changed. 

The November 6th election in 2012 had Referendum 74 on Washington’s ballot, voting to legalise same-sex marriage and the results had been announced the day after. Addison had been in surgery the whole way through the election. She didn’t even know if Obama was still President. She went into surgery and only the obvious states had been called. Tennessee, of course, went red. New York, thank Christ, went blue while Texas went red. The obvious states. It was infuriating not knowing. 

Meredith, meanwhile, had a more relaxed night. On and off watching the election at points but it wasn’t a hugely interesting one, looked to be an inevitable win for Obama. She was more interested in checking for whether Referendum 74 had been passed or not. The news was frustrating and not fast enough and then it came through. 

The news announced it. Finley was in there watching as they went through the horrible morning routine without Addison. Two children under five weren’t entirely easy. “Mommy!” Finley yelled, “What’s same-sex marriage?”. 

“What?” Meredith sighed, walking into the living room, she had Elliot on her hip and everything else they needed to get going. Finley just needed shoes. 

“Same-sex marriage,” Finley asked, pointing at the TV and Meredith moved to stare at the screen.  ‘Same-sex marriage legalised in Washington, Maine and Maryland’ trailed across the screen and Meredith's heart swelled. “Shoes on,” Meredith told her daughter absent-mindedly as she stared at the TV. Realisation dawning on her. She could get married to the love of her life. 

“Mommy?” Finley asked from the door, “Are you okay?”. 

“Yeah, Mommy just forgot something,” Meredith reached back for the remote and turned off the TV before she walked into the hallway and set Elliot down on a stair. “I’ll be back in a minute,” she smiled, sprinting up the stairs and into their bedroom. Back of the closet. Box. Key in those shoes she never wears. She unlocked it. It was normally full of her mother’s stuff but this one other thing that she added a few years ago. A ring. She found the box and slipped it in her pocket. 

“Okay then, let’s get going,” Meredith ran back down the stairs, picking up her son onto her hip and checking her daughter’s shoes. Schoolbag. Daycare bag. School lunch. Homework and four pairs of shoes. “Come on, sweetie,” she smiled at her daughter, opening the door and holding out her hand to her. 

She may have driven faster than she should’ve done on her way to school and dropped off Finley faster than normal. Addison was still in surgery, her ever-loyal interns told her as soon as she ran in. She was going to do this before Addison found out. She ran Elliot into daycare. 

“What are you doing?” Arizona asked as Meredith almost ran into her. She had Sofia on her hip. 

“Haven’t you seen the news?” she questioned. 

“What news?” Arizona asked. 

“Gay marriage has been legalised in Washington,” she smiled, “Got to go”. She sprinted down the hall and down the stairs. The lift wasn’t going to be fast enough. She sprinted out of the stairwell and ran straight into Cristina. 

“I heard,” Cristina smiled, “Gay marriage,”. 

“I know. Addie,” Meredith panted. 

“Meredith Grey running towards commitment,” Cristina laughed. 

“You literally have a husband!” Meredith yelled as she ran on past her. The OR board. She took a deep breath as she stood in front of it. OR 3. Addison was in OR 3. 

“Why are you so out of breath, Grey?” Mark’s familiar voice cut through her thoughts. 

“Gay,” Meredith took a deep breath, “Marriage,” she took another, “Legalised,” she took another deep breath, “Don’ttellAddie,”.

“She doesn’t know?” Mark questioned. 

Meredith just nodded to the surgical board, “If you don’t mind, I need to propose,”. 

“She’s going to be so pissed off,” Mark laughed. 

“I know,” Meredith smiled as she walked up the stairs to the OR galleries. She wasn’t going to make her speech through pants and deep breathes. She was going to be all romantic and shit. She made it to the OR gallery and it was full of quite a few interns and residents, in all fairness it was a kind of ground-breaking emergency surgery. Luckily, the OR was quite empty. Just Addison, Alex, Bohkee, Ben Warren and a few nurses who Meredith couldn’t see properly. 

She turned to the interns and residents gathered. “Everybody out!” she ordered, glaring at all of them simultaneously. 

One tried to object, “This is a mon-”. 

“Move it!” it was Cristina’s commanding voice that jolted the ones that hadn’t already scurried away out of their chairs. 

“Are you going to do it now?” she asked. 

“I need to win,” Meredith shrugged. 

“Seriously, you are making your proposal about winning,” Lexie this time, her voice full of criticism. 

“We’re in love. We have two kids and stressful lives. So, yes, I’m making my proposal about winning so I can say I proposed to her and she said yes instead of the other way rou-”

“Mer? Are any election results in? The interns are useful at relaying anything important,” Addison called in the direction of the gallery. 

“Out,” Meredith looked around the gallery. Lexie, Cristina, Richard, Bailey, April, Owen. When did everyone get here? “Now,” she glared at them before going over to the microphone. 

“Yeah, Obama’s winning. Republicans don’t look to have much of a chance,” Meredith spoke into it. She knew the others were hiding outside the door but she didn’t have the heart to care, her heart was preoccupied elsewhere. 

“Has Ref 74 reported?” Addison asked as she worked. 

Meredith took a deep breath before she clicked on the button again, “About that. It’s bad news,” she smiled but Addison couldn’t see her face. Her wide smile and her almost laugh. 

“All the prediction polls?” she questioned almost angrily as Meredith made sure she wasn’t pressing the button so she could let out a laugh. Addison tied something off and said something quietly to Karev before she turned to face Meredith. 

Meredith smiled and leaned over to the microphone, “They were right,” she shrugged.

“What?” Addison questioned. 

“The bad news is we now have to honour a pact and somehow not invite our parents to our wedding,” Meredith smiled. 

“Right now?” Addison laughed as Meredith pulled out the ring box and opened it. 

“If I get down on one knee, you can’t hear me,” she smiled, “Addison Adrianne Forbes-Montgomery, will you marry me?”. 

“I can’t believe surgery has stopped me from getting to you first,” Addison muttered but her face was plastered with the widest smile. A mask obstructed her lips from view but the smile was so powerful that it shone out of her eyes and lit up the room. 

“Is that a yes?” Meredith laughed. 

“Yes,” Addison laughed, shaking her head, “Of course, it’s a yes. It will always be a yes,”. 

“You know I can finish sewing her back up,” Alex offered and Addison looked between the patient, Meredith and Alex for a second. 

“Page me as soon as anything goes wrong,” she told him, stepping out of the sterile field. Meredith didn’t care as she ran through the crowd of her friends and family outside the OR. She just wanted to get to the scrub room. She made it as Addison started to scrub out. 

“You can’t touch me until I’ve finished,” she said it aloud although both of them already knew because they both knew all they wanted to do was hold each other and feel each other but they couldn’t. Meredith instead leaned over and placed the open ring box on top of the sink in front of Addison. 

“I have one for you too,” Addison smiled, facing Meredith as she scrubbed, “I can’t believe you beat me,”. 

“Well, if you weren’t a life-saving genius, you wouldn’t have that unfortunate issue,” Meredith shrugged smugly. 

“I would’ve proposed better. Romantic speech,” Addison challenged her, “Not messing with my emotions,”. 

“Do you want a romantic speech?” Meredith challenged her back, she had moved closer to Addison so they were also touching but not quite, “Because I could tell you how you’re the love of my life and the mother of my children and the most beautiful, intelligent, kind, caring and selfless woman I know and that I wake up every day not knowing how I got so lucky to be with someone as perfect as you, but you know that because I’ve told you already and it’s all bullshit because words could never really explain and capture how perfect you are and how much I love you,”. 

“I think all that might be pretty romantic,” Addison smiled, leaning closer to Meredith to grab a towel and slowly drying her hands. 

“How would you have done it then, genius?” Meredith teased as Addison threw the towel over her head. 

“If you would have told me seven years ago I would be divorced, living in Seattle with two kids and a girlfriend who happened to be the ex-girlfriend of my ex-husband, I would have laughed in your office and hated your guts for suggesting it but now if you tell me I’m still in New York, married, no kids and absentee husband and that Seattle is just some kind of beautiful nightmare,” Addison took a deep breath and smiled, reaching behind her and passing the ring box to Meredith. 

“I would still be happy,” Addison smiled, “Because five minutes with Meredith Grey and the life we built together is better than any other five minutes, real or fake,”. As she finished they were millimetres away from each other, Addison having scrubbed but they still weren’t touching. Meredith had the ring box in her hand. She pulled out the ring and turned it over in her hand as Addison offered her her hand. Meredith slipped the ring onto her finger slowly, both of them touching and the electric running through both of their veins stemming from that contact. 

Meredith looked back up at Addison and Addison looked back up at her, both of them smiling widely. “I love you,” Addison whispered, her hand that wasn’t still grasped in Meredith’s finding its way to Meredith’s waist and pulling her close so her other hand rested on Meredith’s chest and their bodies were pressed against each other. 

“I love you too,” Meredith smiled, her free hand cupping Addison’s face and pulling her into a perfect kiss. Their lips meeting and sending electricity running through them at every place they were touching, lighting everything up. 

Addison pulled away first, taking a deep breath. “I have one for you when we get home,” she smiled.

“Yeah,” Meredith laughed. 

“How are the kids?” she asked. 

“Rushed into school and daycare very quickly,” Meredith laughed, her head falling to Addison’s shoulder. “They are very good though, normal morning,” she smiled. 

Addison laughed, moving so her arms wrapped completely around Meredith, pulling her into a hug and pressing a kiss to her temple. “I love you so much,” she whispered. 

“I love you more,” Meredith replied, pressing a kiss to her cheek and then her shoulder. 

Addison smirked, pulling away so she should look Meredith in the eye, “Should we get out of here?”. 

“I like how you think,” Meredith laughed, taking a hold of her hand as they parted from the hug. They moved to leave the scrub room as their pagers went off. 

“Shit,” Addison cursed as they both checked them. “MVC,” she muttered, annoyed.

“Bus hit by a train!” Cristina yelled her head, poking around the scrub room door. 

“Don’t smile about it!” Meredith shouted after her as she looked to Addison with a sigh. 

“Later,” Addison promised before she opened the door, breaking their little bubble and sending them into the chaos of an emergency in the ER.

“Later,” Meredith smiled a returned promise before they were both pulled in opposite directions by the crowd. 

-

Lexie and Mark offered, almost insisted, on having Elliot and Finley over for a sleepover that night after Lexie spotted Meredith with Finley on the way to daycare after picking her up from school. They were left with less of a choice after Mark got both of them all excited for a sleepover with a promise of ice cream sundaes with far too much sugar to be considered healthy. Addison and Meredith couldn’t say no and they didn’t really want to.

Addison pressed Meredith against the front door. They managed to get home just as the sun was going down and it felt very dirty doing what they were doing outside before the sun had set, but she couldn’t care. Addison reached behind Meredith and fumbled with her keys, her lips never leaving Meredith’s, finally finding the lock and opening the door. 

She dropped her keys just inside as she and Meredith stumbled in, still attached together, both trying desperately not to trip over any of the shoes in the hallway as they both tried to navigate to different places. “The couch, really?” Addison gasped for air as she pulled away for a second to catch her breath.

“Bed’s far away,” Meredith shrugged, her hand slipping under Addison’s shirt. 

Addison laughed, “We’re going to bed,” she told her, lifting her up with ease so Meredith’s legs wrapped around her waist. She had learned Meredith could be light. Their lips met again as Addison started to move up the stairs, pressing Meredith into another wall as the kiss was deepened again. 

“I thought we were going to bed,” Meredith quipped as she trailed kisses along her jaw. 

Addison laughed, supporting Meredith properly before she finished the journey up the stairs. She pushed her against the wall at the top of the stairs as Meredith sucked a huge hickey into her neck and she let out a moan. “We’re not going to make it there if you keep doing that,” she quipped. Meredith responded by attaching her lips to the same place. Addison could feel the smug smirk against her neck. She moved so she could lift Meredith’s face to meet her lips in another kiss. 

She moved again to get to their bedroom, pushing her into the door and down onto the bed. Meredith's legs stayed wrapped around her waist, holding her close as she pulled Addison’s shirt off over her head. “Wait,” Addison took a breath as their lips had to leave each other’s so the shirt could come off. 

“What?” Meredith sighed, throwing the shirt somewhere else. 

“Just wait,” Addison climbed off of on top of Meredith as she pressed a quick chaste kiss to her lips. She went over to their chest of drawers. In her sock drawer, right at the back, inside a pair of socks that Addison hadn’t worn in years. She pulled the ring box out and turned back to face her fiance with a smile. 

“Addie,” Meredith smiled, sitting up and leaning back onto her elbows. 

“Mer,” Addison smiled, going to kneel on the edge of the bed next to Meredith, “I love you with all my heart and I love our life so much and you are the last person I want to say ‘I love you’ to and you heard my romantic speech earlier so,” Addison leaned closer, opening the ring box, “Will you marry me?”.

Meredith smiled, “I’m pretty sure I asked you that earlier,” she reached for Addison’s hand, playing with the ring there, “And you said yes so, of course, my answer is yes and will always be yes,”. 

Addison laughed, pressing a light kiss to her lips before she pulled back and pulled the ring out of the box and Meredith offered her her hand with a huge smile. She slipped the ring onto her finger and Meredith moved so their hands were grasped together and she pulled Addison down into another kiss. “I love you so much,” Meredith whispered against her lips, “And you are the last person I want to say that to,”. Addison smiled before she captured her lips in another kiss, kicking the ring box away as she straddled her fiancee’s hips.

-

**agape** (ˈ ἀγάπη) 

  1. love in the highest form. unconditional love.



**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i might write more meddison at some point but i don't know if that would be popular so drop a comment down below if you want to see more please :)

**Author's Note:**

> catch me on [insta](https://www.instagram.com/trixicbean/?hl=en) and [tumblr](https://trixicbean.tumblr.com/) if you want more of my annoying ass


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